Tell my head to tell my heart
- I am 20 weeks now and just had my ultrasound. I was so sure it was going to be a boy and found out it was a girl. I tried to pretend I was happy and told everyone that I was excited that my baby was healthy but deep down inside I was praying for a baby boy. Why we have a longing for one gender over another are really personal reasons. Everyone has different ones and they just are. Its okay to have a preference for all the other things in life but something as important as your child you are expected to just like what you are given. I know its hard for some to understand - and I know all the logical reasons why I should be happy to even have a healthy baby girl growing inside me, I know all this... but sometimes your heart and your head are not connected and that's just the way it is. To all the ladies who are having trouble - I am with you. There are many with you, and even though there are so many who say i'm happy either way, i have a strong feeling that a lot of them had a moment
- —Guest Zeph
- Yes because I was expecting a boy and I had two girls.
- —Guest esther
Still trying to cope
- Wen I came to know at 23 weeks that I'm having another girl, I was completely shattered, to be honest I even thought about terminating the pg but I just couldn't do it so I cried day and night hoping a miracle would happen and it would turn into a boy, my daughter who's 3 wants a baby brother so much so that she prays every night to have one, but I guess some prayers are not meant to be answered. I just had my 32 weeks scan n its confirmed that I'm having another girl and I just can't seem to cope with the disappointment, can't even connect to this baby.. I'm not against girl child I love my first one but its just that my husband so wanted to have a lil boy... all his brothers have boys and he wishes for one too and I'm so sorry for not being able to give him one. Moreover when I told my mom and everyone else, the expression was Oh! Don't worry, better luck next time...no one said congrats and this is what makes me feel worse as if I've committed some kind of a sin. I feel sorry and ashamed, don't know what to do.
- —Guest gyest
- I am the mother of Four boys and two different marriages. I only wanted one girl!!!Ha Ha. I believe that we get what we get for a reason. I don't believe in gender selection. After the initial disappointment of my last son! I realized later in life that God had a plan. After seeing what my family goes through with their girls, I know I could never deal with that kind of drama!!!!!
- —Guest Phyllis
- I am the mom of 2 boys: 17yrs old and 10yrs old. In my heart I just felt like this was the daughter that I so desired. My ultrasound was this morning and WOW!!! IT'S ANOTHER BOY!!! I was crushed, because this was going to be my last pregnancy. This is my second marriage and my husbands 1st child... he wanted a son, so he got his hearts desire...What about me??? I'm not giving up on my dream of having a little girl. There's a little girl out there that needs a loving family and home, adoption is an option!!! GOD'S WILL not OURS!!! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU...
- —Guest Mom of 3 boys!!! WOW!!
- I have 2 girls and always wanted a boy. When I found out my 2nd was a girl I was so sad for my first I got over it since my husband had a son from a previous marriage. I was happy I gave him the first girl. Yesterday just found out I'm having a boy and I don't believe it I'm also sad because I'm so happy they said a boy that I feel like a bad mother because if they would of said girl I wouldn't of been as happy. I'm still waiting for confirmation if I get another ultrasound to see what they say we say we are happy as long as the baby is healthy but we know deep down we want our prince or princess.
- —Guest mommy of 2 girls
- I was really expecting a girl but any time am pregnant the baby is a boy.
- —Guest nana
4 Boys and 1 girl
- I have a 9,6,4 y/o boys and an 11 mo. daughter. I was devastated after giving birth to our 3rd son I was admitted 1 year later to out patient therapy. I have 1 older brother who was very abusive to me growing up and a mother/father who didn't do a lot to stop him. Needless to say I never see or talk to him and barely have a relationship with my mother. We did the Shettles method to achieve our princess. We were beyond thrilled to find out we were having a girl. 5 months later I found out I was pregnant again!! I was beyond furious for the first 16 weeks. It took the fun out of our princess. We found out today we are expecting another boy!! Although, I am grateful he is healthy I was hoping it would be another girl for me and her. I will recover but I wish we could have planned for this and done the Shettles again!!
- —Guest skura
- I have 4 suns 13, 9, 8, 1 and I deeply prayed and hoped the last 1 would be a girl but it was yet a boy. I spent so much time being depressed and finally after his arrival I was cool with 4 boys. Now here I am pregnant with son number 5. I lost my smile when I lost my feet. I don't know what to do but I'm hoping the 13 week ultrasound was wrong especially since they moved my due date up 4 weeks so maybe I was actually 9 weeks during that ultrasound.
- —Guest sharee
we'll see about #3
- My husband and I have 2 daughters, ages 5 and 3. I couldn't be happier since I do not have a sister and I have been able to experience the joy of sisterhood through watching them. I thank God for them every day. We are now pg with our third (and final) child. My husband is hoping for a boy, but frankly I would be just as happy with another daughter. I told him I would not even consider getting pregnant if he was going to be disappointed with another girl. We won't find out till the delivery, and my oldest will announce the sex at our homebirth. My mom had a great perspective on this for my husband. She said that maybe he was chosen to be a father of daughters so that he could be a good example to them of the kind of man to marry. He's a wonderful man, so I think she might be right. For some of you with 2 of the same gender who are suffering, maybe you and your spouse could consider adoption or foster care?
as long as my baby is healthy
- I am currently expecting my 3rd child, I have a boy and a girl...whether my blessing now is a boy or a girl it makes no difference. Be glad for a healthy delivery and move on.
- I found out yesterday that my first child will be a boy and not a girl...I really wanted a girl... I am crushed, despondent, sooooo disappointed. Have been crying ever since, even in the ultrasound room. And on top of it I feel guilty for being so upset. I am 35 and it took us 9 months to conceive this one. I only wanted one child and for it to be a girl. I am thinking crazy thoughts like I wish I could end the pregnancy and try again. I am SO depressed I don't know how I am going to deal with it.
- —Guest crushed
Blessed beyond measure
- I'm a proud mama of a beautiful girl 4 years old, and a strong handsome boy 3 years old. Now I'm expecting my third, and I'm ok with either. With my 1st my husband really wanted a girl, and by the grace of God, we had a beautiful healthy girl, the next we wanted a boy, and yet again the Lord blessed us with a boy. I will be finding out soon what the sex of this 3rd child will be, and either way, I am excited since children are a blessing. The Lord knows what we can handle, as guest Gabby wrote. All that matters is that the baby is born healthy and strong. My 2 kids are such a blessing for me, I'm amazed at them, and know that they way that they are is not because of just me or my husband, but because of God.
- —Guest proud mama
Wanted another princess
- I have an 18mth old daughter and I desperately wanted another daughter as the first one is so beautiful, and I grew up with sisters and wanted for her to have the same benefits of playing dolls together, and later going shopping and doing coffee with her sisters. I also cry each time I pack away her clothes/dresses and hoped I would soon be getting them out again. My husband and I also have opposing views on circumcision so were glad we didn't have to make the decision last time. It has already come up again this time and we can't agree on it (he's pro and I'm against). I've been struggling to feel bonded to this 2nd child so far and struggled more with health and being excited about the pregnancy so wanted some good news to pick me up a bit. And we've just today found out it's going to be a boy. I'm struggling to be happy about the good health of the baby they also confirmed... all I can think about is the loss of my dream of another 'princess'... (and the fact my husband's right AGAIN).
how did you cope
- I have two boys one 5yrs and the other 1yr. I was happy when I found out the first was a boy. I desperately wanted a girl and my husband wanted a girl I was disappointed when I found out the second was a boy. I am thinking about trying for a girl soon. I will do anything for a girl so my husband and I can be happy.
- —Guest Traceann