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Readers Respond: Were you sad when you found out the sex of your baby?

Responses: 559

By

Updated July 03, 2009

just know its a boy

I can't help but look at the scan pic I got today and see a boy. I don't know for sure but it probably is. If it is I will cry again and again. My first child was a boy and was disappointed when I was told, but as i knew for definite I'd have another it didn't bother me as always wanted a boy and a girl. If it is another boy I don't know how I will be. I don't know if I want more children but if it is a boy I want to keep trying til it is a girl. I know it's selfish but I don't want a life unfulfilled without being a mum of a girl
—Guest sadeyes

Sad

My husband and I just found out we are having a little girl. While we are thrilled that the baby appears healthy I cried and cried after we found out. I felt guilty about being sad. My husband already has a daughter and all of his siblings have girls. I had my heart set on a boy as we do not know that we will have any more. I am grateful that I can have a child and it will likely be healthy. I will also love my little girl more than anything in the world. I think it just takes a little time to go from trucks (which I am VERY comfortable with, to dresses and bows, which I know nothing about!)
—Guest Guest

He was supposed to be my girl

We were told at my 20-week ultrasound that we were expecting a little girl. I was so thrilled. I had wanted a little girl and I felt like my dreams were coming true. But then when my baby was born, I said "Give me my baby girl" and they looked between the legs and said it..."It's a boy." Shock is hardly an adequate word for how I felt. Over and over I was told, "Your son is so beautiful". My mind kept screaming, "But I want my baby girl!" It's been six weeks since he was born and these feelings still persist. A friend of mine just had a baby girl yesterday and I am absolutely disgusted at myself for the level of jealousy I feel toward her. My husband doesn't want to hear about it, and why should he...he's just happy to have his boy, because that's what he wanted. I'm afraid to even try for another baby someday for fear of being disappointed again. Recently my midwife screened me for PPD and I scored 21/30 on the Edinburgh scale. I'm hoping that her referral to a PPD counsellor will hel
—Guest Andrea

Offering Support

I just wanted to give my support to those of you who are disappointed. There isn't anything wrong with a natural desire to have one or the other...I always wanted girls. I think in my case it stemmed from always wanting a sister (I have two younger brothers, and was sad both times I heard "You have a new baby brother!") My first pregnancy, I didn't want to find out because I knew that if I learned at birth, I couldn't possibly not love the baby in my arms. I now have two girls and am so grateful. I honestly can't imagine not having the daughters I always wanted and it often crosses my mind that although I know I would have loved my sons if I had them, I would still long for a girl, all the time. For the people who say "You should be happy no matter what.." yeah, we know. But it's not a conscious decison to have an innate desire for one or the other. And 99% of these moms DO love their children no matter what, but it doesn't take away the desire to have the gender they have dreamed of.
—Guest Michelle798

3 Boys of my own nd 2 stepsons

I'm 22weeks and have 3 boys, I also have 2 stepsons nd a stepdaughter (shes a tomboy), This time around I was hoping that I was gonna be blessed with my girl, but I was told 2 weeks ago that it was a boy! When the tech said its a boy I went numb, no emotion at all. I felt like I had just been punched and left with no air! All the boys were upset because they wanted a baby sister, My heart hurt for them, I felt as if I let them down! Since finding out I am still convinced it's a girl, I stay up googling things nd researching things! I still cry when I see little pink and purple bows! I just don't know what to do!
—Guest Guess I'm Still Coping! :/

ugh pink

My response was the same as Deana! We had the ultrasound on my birthday. All along I thought, hoped, PRAYED it was a boy. That's what we both really wanted. When he said it was a girl, my eyes teared up but not from joy. My heart just sank. I feel horrible for feeling this was and hope that now I know I will adjust and bond. I never thought my first would be a boy. In a way I guess I always wanted one of each but didn't mind if that's not the way it worked put if I ended up with two boys!! Ha. She is very healthy and I should be elated with that its just hard not to feel so disappointed when I had the entire nursery and first years of growing up envisioned as a boy. Pink and purple are NOT my thing at all. I can easily get around it but know everyone else will do nothing but buy the pink frills. We are both so glad we found out the sex instead of letting it be a surprise at birth.... That would've been a horrible surprise.
—Guest ray

#2 hoping is a boy!

I want to start out by saying, when I was younger I always wanted 2 girls... like me and my sister... only closer in age (we are 14 years apart) but when I saw the pink line appear on the pregnancy test, I switched my tune! Although pregnancy is an amazing time, I just don't want to do it again. 2 seems perfect, enough time in the day to offer quality one on one time to both as well as one each to chase for me and my husband. Lol my husband wants a boy badly, and since we alread hve a girl, I think that would be wonderful. One of each. I will be happy with whichever but I think my hubby will be upset. That why I'm secretly hoping for a boy.
—Guest katiek

So....

I have 4 girls too. So I can identify with 4girlsforme. We were planning to go for baby no. 5 but I got pregnant unexpectedly. I love n adore my 4 girls but deep down I wanted to have a little boy of my own too. So when I got pregnant again, I was hoping and praying that it's a lil boy but I went for my 16wk ultrasound and gynae told me I was having another girl. I know I should be grateful coz there are a lot of people out there that have difficulty in even conceiving but I felt very depressed at the news and have been scouting the Internet n hoping that the gynae is wrong. But I have to accept that if it is a girl at 25 weeks then it's God's will and will enjoy the joy that girls can give. Although having a son would complete my family. This might be my last one as having 5 kids will def be a handful (10yrs, 7y, 5y, 1.5y). I'm really glad there's a forum for this as I can't talk about this to anyone. I hate soc preception and hv had comments of.."poor you.. Never mind next time.."
—Guest Mumof4.5girls

Broken hearted

I'm almost 41 and expecting my 2nd child. I went through 3 years of infertility issues trying to have my 1st child and was devastated when I found out the baby was a boy. Now, here is my last chance at having the daughter I've always dreamed of. We just found out today from the ultrasound tech. That she's 85% sure it's a boy. I feel so alone in my pain knowing that I'm never going to have a daughter. Can anyone relate to me? I'm too old to try for a 3rd child, I feel like I've been cheated and robbed of what so many others can do, which is to try again.
—VeryDepressed2

pregnant with 2nd boy :(

I had 3 miscarriages before I had my son. I really wanted a boy, so I got what I wanted.He's perfect in every single way and the best behaved baby I know. My current boyfriend is raising him as his own as his biological father isn't around anymore. So when we found out we were pregnant we were delighted. I knew from the moment I got pregnant I was having a boy, even referring to it as "brandon", but didn't hide the desire of wanting a daughter. Everyone kept telling me "its a girl! Ur pregnancies so different ur having a girl!" Getting my hopes up. I had my 20 week scan 2 days ago, and suprise suprise, a boy. I burst into tears and my boyfriend kept saying sorry. I felt so horrible as he is healthy etc but I cried the whole day. Boys just tend to fly the nest and not really bother with their mothers. But... 2 days later I'm getting happy about having another boy. If he's anything like my first born, he'll be amazing. And I'm happy for my fella who's having his own, biological son :)
—Guest shaz

Wishful Thinking

I have 4...All girls and I was content with each ultrasound in spite of coming from a female dominant family..Not baring the first boy saved us from being harassed by our families :) but since our 4th daughter's birth 2 strapping boys followed through my siblings..Surprisingly I didn't get "Boy Fever" that was until I overheard my now 7 and 5yr old daughters yapping about their "brother" giving him a name and facial features :( bursting into tears I called my hub about having another baby..On board from the start it's been 7 months we've been researching and talking with doctors, preparing to conceive our 5th child and God's will our only son!
—Guest Wishful Thinking

Last time I was left behind by everyone

I have 2 boys and pregnant with my third child. With my last one I actually broke down in the Drs office after finding out it was a boy. My Dr reassure me it was perfectly normal and ok. She told me her herself felt the same after being told her 3rd and final was yet another boy. I didn't know until recently but, my husband and my son thought I was going to give birth then leave them all behind! I would never do that but, I was really hoping for a girl! To make matter worse on top of all that. My sister who I hadn't been very close to was finally beginning to come back around and be friends with me it was nice. Until she found out I was having a boy. All she said was What? You were suppose to have a girl! She stormed out of my house and I didn't see her again until my son was 3 weeks old! This time. I am suddenly scared of how I will react if it isn't a girl despite not caring either way when we first found out 12 weeks ago! This feeling sucks but, its there Im only human after all :o
—Guest I thought I didn't care this time.

State the Obvious

Its clear to "state the obvious" no one would rather anything then a healthy baby, but this post is a respondance to how you felt when you were hoping for a certain agenda for a child and recieved the opposite. I for one always wanted a boy as my first child to be the older running male of the family and yes my first was a male but I would not have felt any different or upset if I had a daughter first. Although I was hoping to have a male as first child it never left my mind that I would want a healthy baby. The very first pregnancy I had, I use to prayer with my partner at night and thank the lord for blessing us with this baby, we use to also prayer that the baby be healthy and everything was ok, but unfortunatly I had a miscarriage. After the first child its only normal for me to wish I have healthy children but I also do hope for certain agendas. Dont critisice anyone for wanting a particular agenda for their child cause it doesnt automatically mean their health doesnt matter.
—Guest Bejay

Time to be grateful!

I have a beautiul healthy daughter who's presence brings untold joy to both myself and my husband. I'm now pregnant with my second child and was secretly hoping its a boy as we'd like one of each and don't intend on going again. After reading the comments on here and seeing how unbeliveably sef pitying some people are I can honestly say I don't care what I have. I can understand people been disappointed when they're on they're 4th or 5th pregancy and still don't get the little boy or girl they want but people that hve only been pregnant once or twice!!! Come on! Be grateful that you've been blessed with any kids at all.
—Guest Rose

Boy or Girl?

I have a little boy who is 14 months. He is amazing. I always wanted a boy first because I grew up with two older brothers and I wanted that older boy to protect the younger siblings. We didn't find out what we were having until he was born. I was so happy! I am pregnant again (15 weeks) and my husband and I think that we're going to find out if we're having a boy or girl at our ultrasound. It's interesting though, because he is the one that wants the girl and I don't care either way. In ways I want a boy so that my older boy has a brother close in age, and in other ways I want a girl because I'd love to have both genders by the time we're done having kids. I'm glad it's not my decision! Because I don't know what I would choose! There are many women who really want to have girls, and I think that's very normal and totally fine. But I want to encourage you by telling you that there is also a very special bond between a mother and their son :)
—Guest Laura
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