Pregnant sex can be a touchy subject between couples. The rule is to follow your desires and really open the lines of communication. Over the course of the years, I've been asked many personal questions about sex during pregnancy, here are some of the questions with answers.
Q. Now that I'm pregnant can I still have sex, and if so, for how long into my pregnancy?
A. Sex in pregnancy is wonderful! You can continue to have sex as far into pregnancy, right up until birth, as you and your partner are comfortable. This includes orgasms. There are a few reasons why you shouldn't have sex during certain periods during pregnancy. These include:
Be sure to talk to your practitioner about specifics for you. When your practitioner says, "No sex." Find out what they mean, do them mean no orgasms? Do they mean no intercourse? If so, for how long? For example, if a woman has a slight bit of bleeding in the first trimester, it's common to be told to avoid intercourse and orgasm for the period of one week from the last episode of bleeding.
Q. Now that my belly is growing we're having a harder time having sex. Any suggestions?
A. Be creative! While many people tend to prefer the missionary position for sex during pregnancy, it becomes a very difficult maneuver to perform as the abdomen gets larger. Try some of these pregnant sex positions:
- Woman on top. This allows you to control the depth of penetration, and the majority of the movement. You can go as fast or as slow as you'd like, while controlling the depth of the penis. This position works really well throughout pregnancy and at the very end of pregnancy.
- Spooning. This position gets it's name from the way spoons fit together in the silver ware drawer. Usually it's best if the man is behind allowing his penis to go between your thighs and enter you from behind. This creates no pressure on the abdomen, and allows for a shallow penetration. Many women find this a very relaxing position for sex during pregnancy, and it can be used throughout.
- Hands & Knees. This is a very good position for pregnant women again because of the lack of direct pressure on the abdomen, although as your get larger your belly may actually rest on the bed. Some women find this difficult at the very end of pregnancy, depending on how high they are able to hold their belly off the bed and still allow for penetration.
- Side lying. This can be kind of tricky, but it can be done! Lay on your side with your partner facing you, try pulling one leg up to allow room for your partner. This may get tiring after awhile, and may not be easy for the last part of pregnancy.
All of the above mentioned positions also allow for manual stimulation of the clitoris either by yourself or your partner. This can greatly increase your chances of becoming multi-orgasmic, not to mention it's a lot of fun. They also prevent the mother from laying on her back, which is not recommended after the fourth month of pregnancy (16 weeks gestation).
When you're trying to think of a good position, try it, if it doesn't work stop. Creativity will be a lot of fun during pregnancy, and it will probably carry over into your postpartum sex life as well, when creativity becomes important in a different way.
Q. One word, orgasms.
A. Many answers to that one! Orgasms can be much different during pregnancy. Some woman will finally become orgasmic during pregnancy due to the increased fluids in the area making the clitoris and vagina more sensitive. Other women will become multi-orgasmic for the first time.
In general, orgasms are very good for you and baby! When you have an orgasm the baby is unaware of what you are doing, but does experience the euphoric hormone rush that you will experience. There will also be minor contractions of the uterus, as there have always been, but now that the uterus is bigger you can feel them more. This is not preterm labor, unless you have this cramping sensation or contractions for more than one hour.
The big problem with orgasms during pregnancy is that, particularly at the end, you many not get quite the sense of relief that a normal orgasm would provide. I've personally walked away from sex feeling more sexually frustrated than before, despite multiple orgasms. Although, it's still worth it!