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5 Ways to Tell Your Mother-in-Law That She's Not Invited to Your Birth

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Updated June 19, 2014

Newborn Being Suctioned
Photo © E. S. Cavazos - Fotolia.com

So, you've announced your pregnancy and now your mother-in-law thinks she's coming to the birth. This is a weird situation to be in and it can cause you many a sleepless nights. Here are some ways to help break the bad news to her and get your birth back.

  1. Move out of town.
    Don't laugh, I've had a client do this when her mother-in-law insisted on coming to the birth. She decided to change doctors and see someone else in a neighboring city. Her mother-in-law didn't know where it was and she couldn't find it!

  2. Make your husband do it!
    It's his mother - let him deal with it. Just be certain that he does it and does it soon.

  3. Don't tell when you're in labor.
    Once you're gone into labor, keep everything quiet. You may have to not let anyone in your family know the news until after the birth. If someone does show up at the hospital, let the nurses know that they are to wait in the waiting room. If you can't get away with not calling, wait until the baby is crowning.

  4. If you weren't at the conception...
    Then you aren't invited to the birth. While this doesn't go for most doctors or midwives or doulas, explain to her that this is an intimate event with a few professionals thrown into the mix.

  5. Just say no!
    Going round and round with excuses doesn't help your feeling or hers. Just tell her truthfully and honestly that she is not invited to the birth. Don't accept complaints or problems from her. Don't be bothered with cries of "all her friends get to go to the births of their grandchildren." Stand your ground, have your husband stand up for you too.

If you change your mind and want grandma at the birth, there are some things about birth grandma needs to know.

  1. About.com
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  5. Mother-In-Law Not Invited to Birthing (How to Tell Her)

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