Ugh! It's 4 am. I've been up since nearly 1:30. I've already tried a bath. A book. And now the computer...
This insomnia is for the birds. I'm also sniffly because I think I caught Lilah's cold. Just what everyone wants to see a stuffed up, whiny pregnant woman...
It's late at night I start wondering if I can really handle everything on my plate. I try to tell myself, "Twins - twice as nice..." Though I do worry about being a good mother to the kids. I never really thought of myself as mother material. I never thought I'd have or want children. Look at how that has changed!
I love being a mom. I love that the kids run to greet me when I walk in the door, even when I'm tired and really want to go the bathroom first. I love that they want to snuggle with me on the couch and fight over who gets to sit in the nest (That's what we call the area behind your knees when you're laying on your side on the couch.). This is where I'm also thankful for long legs, so that the nest still holds most of them at the same time.
Ah, it's those sweet little things that make it all worth it!
September 21, 2002: Twenty Seven Weeks, Two Days
I ran around today trying to get ready to go to Pittsburgh next week. I even got a manicure. Hilary and Lilah went to gym class with Kim and Samantha. Then I took Hilary with me to a doula meeting. I showed off my belly cast that I did while about 40 weeks pregnant with Lilah. The sad thing was I fit perfectly into it NOW. I have like 13 weeks to go! I think that's depressing.
September 23, 2002: Twenty Seven Weeks, Four Days
I got to see the other CNM today. It was a very informative visit. First the physical stuff, other than being tired (normal) and out of breath (also normal), everything including my blood pressure was fine. She doesn't see a reason I shouldn't go to Pittsburgh. I'm going to take my medical records and I have the pager number for a doctor up there and I know which hospital to go to should I need it.
The biggest thing we talked about was an epidural for labor. I hadn't even thought about it. She said that it was a big deal not to have it with twins. I told her I hadn't discussed it with anyone. Her statement was, "Robin, sometimes what isn't said speaks louder than what is said." Up until now I assumed that they all knew I wasn't planning on pain medications for an uncomplicated vaginal birth. I simply didn't know what to say. She said, if I didn't have the epidural, I'd have to agree to general anesthesia if it were an emergent situation. Well, yeah... I don't have a problem with it for that. *sigh* Why do I feel like I'm starting at ground zero again?