03/07/98
Awhile back I mentioned how everyone has an opinion about the names we have chosen, my biggest pet peeve that people felt I was being pretentious by thinking of naming our daughter after me BUT thought it was sweet we were naming our son after my husband. Well now I have found two other volatile subjects. Number one I am finding out the sex of the child before it is born, and Number two I am using a midwife.
Okay I made the mistake of telling my sister when I get the ultrasound done if it is possible I want to know the sex of the baby. She flipped out. I mean begging and pleading for me not to find out. I don't understand what the big deal is. Even before I was pregnant I had always said I would find out if I could. I'm not all that into waiting these ten months. My husband says he rather not but it is up to me, I'm carrying this kid. Surprisingly my Mother says to go for it. If that is what I want to do . All my friends including the pregnant ones are also pleading with me not to find out. What difference does it make to them. If they don't want to know the sex of their child I'm not going to badger them into it. So I should learn to keep my mouth shut obviously. My luck this kid will decide to be modest that day and I won't find out anyway.
Okay onto the next subject that has caused a few raised voices. My choice in having a midwife. Just last night my Mom says if it was me honey I won't do it. Well Mom it's not you. This is another decision I made years ago. I mean I finally get pregnant and this year is when they finally register midwifes in British Columbia. Don't you think that is good karma? I mean midwifes have delivered more children over the last million years than doctors have. My sister hasn't said either way but I know she would rather I had a doctor. My husband has no opinion at all just agreeing with everything I say. Could be his way of getting through this pregnancy without having me have huge emotional breakdowns. He is being fantastic.
I'm still wearing all my clothes, I'm at 3 and a 1/2 months, some friends are already into their maternity wear. I seem to be dragging this out as long as possible. I'm trying to picture myself nine months pregnant barely able to walk and just can't quite get the mental image yet.Soon enough I'm sure.
Crazy, vivid dreams have started. Well I always have dreamed alot but now they are rather bizarre always having someone who has passed away in them. Only one nightmare so far about losing the baby. One was enough. I'm sure there are more around the corner though.
I have to say now that I don't have any tell tale signs of pregnancy expect no menstrual cycle I am starting to enjoy this. I feel great, I feel like a woman. Strange to say that, I mean I've always felt female just more womanly now.
