My Pregnancy Journal

Parenting

Journal: The Third Trimester
Part II

Week Thirty-Four

September 7, 1997:

Well, I did get a few things on my list done this week. Although my nesting has been only mental so far. I am still awaiting the energy to finish my projects.

Withdrawn is the best way I can describe how I feel. And annoyed, everyone seems to annoy me. No one can do anything right, so they might as well not try! So, I avoid them, and they avoid me.

My iron is down and my FP has released me from her care, so now all I will have to do is see the midwife and the OB until I deliver. I did finally order my birth kit and we bought more baby things. Now my house is full.

Next week will be better...

September 9, 1997:

Feeling a bit better emotionally, but not physically. Although I do feel as if I am gaining some control, which is a plus! Hilary's is getting a new bed in six days (as she keeps reminding me). Benjamin is calming down at school.

Kevin and I have started to piece things together for the baby. You know, like what do we really need, where will the baby sleep, and what are we going to do postpartum! Well, the kids just got off the school bus, and it's reading time!

Week Thirty-Five

September 14, 1997:

My patience is still very thin. But everyone is starting to realize it and leave me alone. It's a beautiful day outside. And I have to stay home from the zoo rather than get stuck there and in too much pain to walk. *sigh*

My appointment with the midwife went well. Everything is looking good, except that I haven't ordered my birth kit, yet. I did, however, plan a birth party. We are inviting everyone who will be at the birth over after our next prenatal to meet the midwife and her apprentices, and to talk about our plans and what we need and expect from them. I'm even looking forward to it!

Week Thirty-Six

September 22, 1997:

Gee, I'm down to the wire. My kids are getting older, Hilary even lost her first tooth. I did get my birth kit order in the mail, it was supposed to be ordered no later than the thirty-fourth week of pregnancy...

My birth planning party is this week. It will be really nice to formally invite everyone and assign tasks, in a pleasant way, of course. I'll do my prenatal first and then the other people will get here, like my mom and Kevin's mom, our friend, etc. Maybe seeing them will make it sink in a bit more.

Considering what I do for a living, and the fact that I live on call for pregnant women, you would think I would have confidence in my ability to predict labor. I'm finding that even with everything else Is till wonder if I'll have false alarms or not know when it's time. Will I be able to predict things well enough that we get the kids from school in time, or will I forget about them and leave them at the bus stop alone? Will I get the plastic sheet on the bed before my water breaks!?!

Week Thirty-Seven

September 29, 1997:

Well, I'm starting to really get anxious on some days, while others I could wait forever. My body is showing signs of preparing and I have frequent contractions, although I know from past history that they are just practicing for the real thing. Isn't it amazing to watch a pregnant woman rub her belly and have several people freak out? Some days you just have to laugh!

Kevin has decided that he would rather have a puppy. He said that he would be calm until the leaves started changing. Well, guess what? The leaves, they are a changin'. I'm still waiting on my birth kit, and most of the house cleaning is done. I decided against getting the birth tub, mainly because of the effort to get it here, set it up and take it down.

Week Thirty-Eight

October 6, 1997:

It's, gulp, October! Yes, my husband and I about freaked out having to flip the calendar. And I do believe that despite Kevin's apprehension about the impending labor that he is very excited.

I've been having contractions, some even as close as two minutes apart! It has been manageable, but I still wonder when it will be it. Will I know before transition? Last time I had so much false labor that I asked as Benjamin's head was out, if he was going back in! My midwife laughed at me and promised he wouldn't. She said I may wish that he would, but...

I even had some bloody show the other night, which I've never had before. I woke Kevin up on the couch and said, "Get up and clean, the baby is coming!" He went in the other room and fell back asleep, he missed the labor part. I woke him up, "What are you doing in bed? I tell you I'm in labor and you go to sleep?!" He got up and I felt horrible. So I think he may be a bit resentful that I haven't given up the baby yet.

I had forgotten to include this earlier, but Kevin wrote the baby a very sweet letter. Well, maybe this week, or next...

October 8, 1997:

I hit a point of frustration and impatience yesterday and the few days before. I was considering anything to get the baby out. Then all of a sudden I remembered that while a new baby is great, it's also a lot of hard work. Am I really ready for that?

The answer was no, I can wait. I figured that the baby would be here sooner or later, one way or another and that I should just enjoy what time I have left to type with both hands!

Kevin and I went to see our back-up physician today. Without a vaginal exam, or hearing about contractions or anything he told me that my labor would be soon and short. I had to laugh. I told Kevin on the way to the car that it wouldn't work that was. Kevin asked if I was going to make it difficult just to prove a point. Nope, I'm really prepared, with the exception of the birth kit! I did order it, but added wrong. So they didn't ship it, and mailed a letter that got lost. I finally called and they shipped it, making me promise to mail them $3. I was steamed...

Week Thirty-Nine

October 13, 1997:

Well, my birth kit is here and everything is ready! I'm still fairly patient. For updates, you can read it on the web site or wait for the story. The kids are getting excited, but only because they get to watch Sleeping Beauty when I am in labor and not before. Tolerance is not my key word anymore and I frequently need time alone. Although I did get some cleaning done...

October 14, 1997:

I am so entirely sick of everyone asking me, "How are you?" In that tone of voice. You all know it, the one that really says, "So you are still around and haven't had that baby yet." Why do people do that to pregnant women? It's really been bad this pregnancy, more so than with others.

What's really so bad is that it gets to me. I start feeling impatient. I'd be fine if everyone would leave me alone. It is still hard to imagine that we are going to have a baby living here. When I start thinking of plans for next week, I start wondering if I should include the baby!

Previous Journal Entries

Week Forty

October 19, 1997:

We've made it to the end! I really knew in my heart that I would be at least forty weeks before the baby. I should have convinced my head! Everyone is back in town, the test run has occurred, the baby is in place. Now we wait.

Now if I could stop feeling like a time bomb. Every time I make plans I say, "Well, I'll be there if I can." People must think I'm a nut. I'm also requiring more and more time alone. Make sure you check out my labor updates!

October 22, 1997:

Every entry from here may be the last in my pregnancy portion. Tonight Kevin and I were doing our relaxation and it was so very nice. He leaned over my big belly and told me that he loved me, and that he loved the baby. He told me that I was beautiful. I have heard all of this before. However, he then whispered in my ear, "Thank you for making all of my dreams come true..." I love him so much.

Week Forty-One

October 26, 1997:

ARGH! If my neighbors and relatives don't leave me alone I'm gonna scream some more! I feel like a time bomb.

Baby looks great and so do I according to both midwife and doctor. The contractions are changing my cervix slowly but surely. I'm just hanging in there...

Moving on...

Robin Elise Weiss, LCCE
Pregnancy & Childbirth Guide

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Journal: The Third TrimesterPart II