At a recent mothers group I attended some of the women were talking about pregnancy weight gain. This isn't an uncommon topic for mother's to discuss, but what really surprised me was what the women had to say about their doctor's attitudes towards weight gain. One mom was about 8 months pregnant and she shared her story.
She had had a rough patch with morning sickness in the beginning and lost a bit of weight in the first trimester. Her doctor had told her not to worry about the weight loss. So as her appetite returned and her nausea dissipated, she began to gain weight. By 24 weeks she had gained a total of 12 pounds. Her doctor saw her chart and mooed at her. He laughed and told her to watch her weight. She thought it odd but wrote it off as a poor attempt at humor.
At her 28 week visit she had gained 3 more pounds, for a total of 15, and the doctor mooed at her again. Then he told her that she really should "learn to push the plate away." When she asked him what he expected her to gain for the pregnancy, he told her that 15 pounds was "plenty." The mom pointed out that she was up 15 from the lowest point, but only a bit over 5 pounds from her prepregnancy weight. He said it didn't matter. He explained that she was setting herself up to get "fat" and to have a ton of pregnancy complications from growing an overly large baby that she'd probably "need a c-section" to get out.
The mom said she was dumbfounded. She walked out and never went back. She called her friend and got a recommendation for a new OB/GYN. She said her new OB actually was encouraging her to eat well and to make her food count. The new office had a nutritionist on board who explained that the weight gain was actually low but on track for a healthy pregnancy. She was glad she switched OBs, but couldn't believe it when other women shared stories about being belittled for pregnancy weight gain as well.
Have you ever been belittled for your pregnancy weight gain?
This blog is a part of the Doctors Behaving Badly Blog Carnival.
Related:
- Pregnancy Weight Gain
- How Much Weight Did You Gain in Pregnancy?
- 5 Reasons to Talk to Your OB About Weight Gain
- How to Gain Weight in Pregnancy
- Pregnancy & Exercise
- Nutrition in Pregnancy
- Nutrition for Baby
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I asked my OB-GYN a question I later regretted, “Wow, what happens to all this stretched-out skin after the baby is born”? His response was to tell me I’d look fine in clothes, but would always have a “jelly belly” and then went on to lament the plight of mothers who sacrifice their looks only to be deserted later when their husbands leave them for a twenty year old secretary!
A few people I told thought he was just being “honest”, but I thought his comments were wildly inappropriate not to mention insensitive. Any thoughts?
Yep, wildly inappropriate and insensitive. You summed it up well.
Dr. Tom Brewer found that more important than the amount of weight gained is eating healthy foods with adequate nutrition. If you eat right, the weight gain will take care of itself!
I’m so glad this mother’s new practice had a nutritionist. I am so tired of women being told they are gaining too much or too little, with no one taking the time to counsel them on what foods to gain that weight on. Research tells us that nutritionally dense foods are important – get rid of empty calories and refined, processed foods, and eat adequate protein in a well-rounded, whole foods diet with lots of fresh veggies and fruits! Your baby is what you eat.
The best thing we can do for ourselves and others is to directly feedback to the doctor our feelings, not in terms of: you are so rude and insensitive, but : I felt really hurt by your comment… they might belittle you further, but you might make them think and eventually they will realize that they are rude and stop the behavior.
I know the environment is not conducive to speaking up, and that you might not find words to express it on the spot, but even at a next appointment, it would be useful. Even asking for a short “exit interview” in which you ask for five minutes and tell the doctor why you left the practice.
Everyone talks about patient-centric. we need to insist on the patient centricity in an honest and compassionate way. It is our time!
Your advice is solid, but you’re right, it’s sometimes hard to speak up. That really makes me sad.