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Readers Respond: Advice for Not Wanting Sex While Pregnant?

Responses: 36

By

Updated September 04, 2010

So you're pregnant and rather than glowing and feeling like you want to have sex - you simply just don't want to do it. Or maybe you're on bed rest and can't have sex while pregnant. So what's your advice for moms in this situation?

Feeling guilty and unwanted at the same

Dear husbands, don't be too understanding during pregnancy, don't worry too much about hurting us or babies! Tell us that you still want and love us as much as before pregnancy. I'm pregnant with my third child (15 weeks), and it's only me who can initiate sex these days, not my husband. He thinks that I'm not feeling well and doesn't even approach me with it. It makes me feel so unwanted and insecure about my changing body. We don't have sex for a week or two, and I start feeling guilty after all that I haven't done anything to have sex. Very sad!
—Guest Zebra Mama

I try to do it for him...

I've been with my man for 8 yrs and we are pregnantfor the first time. We've always had a really good sex life. I admit, somtimes im just not in the mood, period. But now im 15 wks and I could care less about having sex, in fact sometimes the smallest things will turn me completely off. I feel really bad and guilty because his sex drive seems overcharged at times, and he will become very cranky without sex at least once a week. I try to suck it up and do IT or oral just for him because I dont need him nagging me or walkin around cranky for lack of sex. I also have never suspected him of cheating but I do realize that its hard for him, so I do what I have to do at least once a week to keep the peace.
—Guest 1st Time Mother

Sex and pregnancy

I'm five months pregnant now and ever since I've been about three and a half months pregnant I don't feel the urge to have sex and it is hard for me to get moist in the vaginal area to have sex. When I do have sex it doesn't feel the same it feels vey uncomfortable.
—Guest Mom to be

pregnant sex is the best

I'm 25 and happily approaching my second trimester. Ever since I got pregnant I can't stop thinking about sex. I understand that some men may be turned off by the woman's new blossoming figure but I'm really happy to say that luckily my husband finds it a huge turn on and makes me feel really sexy and more feminine than ever before. I'm sure the feel good vibes of an orgasm are good for the baby. I'm sorry for the couples out there who miss out on this wonderful sensual phase in life.
—Guest Pupa

Not wanting sex even before getting preg

I have not had a sex drive at all married for 3 yrs and every time I force my self to have sex so my husband is happy. I'm 5 months preggy first pregnancy and I don't want it at all now. I hate forcing my self. What should I do? I feel bad for saying no all the time but I feel even worse when I do have sex and hate oral sex as well the taste is foul. What should I do?
—Guest kate

Is it weird?

I am 12 weeks and I am tired and I don't feel like have sex at all. I almost could care less about it. I use to want to have sex all the time. Am I broken? I dont even wanna have him touch me. I don't know why that is, I love him but I don't feel like having sex or and thing else. I'm so lazy now-a-days.
—Guest sparkels

Ladies. Be Careful, your man could cheat

To the ladies out there, you must be very careful about not having sex with your man. You are definitely inviting potential for him to cheat. Don't get me wrong, you are very justified for not wanting to have sex. Pregnancy looks very difficult. My wife was a champ, but I could see how she struggled during all three of her pregnancies. However, do not EVER undersestimate a man's sex drive. Ladies, I'm sure you've heard this many times before, but let me say it again, do not EVER EVER underestimate a mans sex drive. He may say he's totally fine with not having sex. He may sound totally supportive.....but, again DO NOT EVER underestimate how strong a mans drive for sex is. You may think you know..., but you have absolutely no idea how powerful the urge can be! It is truly a relentless drive. I never once cheated on my wife. She gave me a simple hand job once or twice a week. Thats all it takes. Ladies, be careful. Your man loves you, but that sex drive is scary strong.
—mikeLopor

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

From the time that I conceived, my sex drive exploded. For years, we already satisfied our needs almost every morning or evening (sometimes both) and nothing much has changed except for the fact that I have so much more feeling that I want it very much more often and he is very happy with this and is glad to participate. In my opinion, it's a great thing for him to learn my body and the changes it's undertaking (in my second trimester now, first baby) and it's bringing us much closer together. We don't go nearly as fast or hard as we have at times pre-conception (to be careful), but we're both pretty quick to finish in rather satisfying ways, it's so awesome!!
—Guest Guest Marie

is it just me?

I havent wanted sex at all! Before I got pregnant we were CONSTANTLY at it and couldn't keep our hands off each other, My partner and I used to get really aroused with breast play and that but now if my partner touches them at all it really turns me off completley! They have become like a button to turn me off!! I have been trying to just get on with it, but he can tell i'm not really into it..then i feel inaduquate and like i'm losing our sex life and we won't get it back. It has really turned into a nightmare anytime sex is even mentioned, I feel this horrible sense of guilt! What is going on?! Can you get your sex life back to "normal" after the baby comes?
—Guest worried 1st timer

She is Hornier while Pregnant

We now have three children. From my experience,my wife gets hornier and hornier, especially in the third trimester. She gets wetter and wetter, warmer and warmer(inside of her), and even experiences multiple orgasms. All these really turn me on. I always enjoy such windows of opportunity while they last because, just like the comet which is sighted once after a long while, I know it would take long for me to have such a privilege.
—Guest joe

Sex

I really enjoy being on top during sex. It's really enjoyable to me and my partner.
—Guest Heather M.

Husband has gained weight

I'm 16 weeks. Prior to getting preg me and my hubby used to have sex all the time, but for whatever reason with this pregnancy I don't feel like even being touched. On top of that he's gained more weight than I have and always want to lay on top of me, making it difficult for me to even breathe. His belly is also in the way when I'm on top. What should I do? I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I just don't want to be touched.
—Guest Nicci

It's diffrent

Me and my boyfriend had sex all the time but when I found out I was pregnant I just wasn't in the mood to do anything. Yeah he gets really upset but he understands. This will be my first pregnancy and I'm also young but my sex mood varies. I'll want to have sex and me and him would take advantage of that because maybe the next day I won't even want him to touch me...
—Guest a young girl

I love...

Pregnant sex is by far the best! Im pregnant with my first child and in the beginning I wanted it ALL THE TIME then once I started feeling tht uncomfortable feeling in my uterus I kinda didn't want to as much and I hadn't realized it til my Mr said I had neglected him for 2 weeks. I was always tired or hurting but he understood not to be selfish because he knew I was experiencing something new that he wasn't gonna quite understand, but now I find myself always jumping on him because I learned the sex kinda relieves tht uncomfortable feeling. I love pregnant sex!!! And its so much more intimate and wetter than usual.
—Guest pregnant for the 1st time

Seriously?!...

Thats disgusting.... Maybe that has a lot to do with my distaste for fat/ overweight women (not saying its sexy to be boney cause its not), but no. I think its funny how these articles claim crap like "most men find a pregnant woman exotic and arrousing" when in fact most of the guys I know, or I have conversed on this topic with, either won't do it or put up with it for the sake of whatever their individual reasons may be... NOT because its sexy or a turn on! My wife is pregnant now in her second trimester so I know what its like, but thats not happening so until these so-called experts, or whoever else contributes to that lie, talks to ALL men in that situation and can provide solid evidence... dont lie to people and tell them "what [all] men think" because the fact of the matter is you don't know! We may share the same gender class but NOT the same weird or strange fettishes!
—Guest Jay

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