1. Health
You can opt-out at any time. Please refer to our privacy policy for contact information.

Discuss in my forum

Readers Respond: Advice for Not Wanting Sex While Pregnant?

Responses: 92

By

Updated September 04, 2010

So you're pregnant and rather than glowing and feeling like you want to have sex - you simply just don't want to do it. Or maybe you're on bed rest and can't have sex while pregnant. So what's your advice for moms in this situation? Share Your Advice

Are you kidding me?

You all complaining about your weeks of no sex! Weeks! Try living my life--- my boyfriend had sex with me 3 to 4 times a day until I got pregnant (as planned.) He hasn't wanted me since! And how far along am I? My daughter is over 1 1/2!!!!! As in YEARS!! Be grateful you are having a 20 week dry spell--- it could turn into 29 months!! Over three years I have gone without sex! And yes, I lost the baby weight! Other people are attracted to me but he certainly isn't. Do I want to cheat? YES. Am I going to cheat? Unfortunately, no I am not going to because the guilt would kill me faster than my vaginal loneliness.
—Guest ktx

hormones

I'm 6 months pregnant and the sex pretty much dried up at about 4 months. My boyfriend even though still affectionate doesn't even touch me anymore. In the meantime I am full of hormones and is the horniest I remember ever being. It is very frustrating. I hear that the sex comes back after the baby is born but I have more than 3 months to go! I could scream! it's not easy for the ladies either.
—Guest LL

It's not all about you, ladies

My wife is 37 weeks and we've been on sexual hold for nearly all that time. Trust me I understand that this is a difficult on the body and I have every empathy for you. That being said, a mans since of importance and worthiness is inexplicably tied to their sexual attractiveness to their mate. To suddenly become sexually undesirable is to say that we are no longer needed nor wanted. To use the excuse that you don't find yourself attractive is a cop out. I don't think we men ever find ourselves attractive, but we still are attracted to you. There must be clear communication between you and your partner and just because you are pregnant does not give you permission to cease all sexual activity with your spouse. I'm not saying have sex through the pain, but the both of you must come to some consensus about sexual activity.
—Guest Tony

getting your release

I know how all you men feel it happened to me in first trimester best advice I can give is do the housework and cooking your gf a nice meal treat her etc. And I promise she will reward you might not be sex but bjs. Just keep calm and they will see the light lads.
—Guest carl

Its our first, and our sex life is dead!

She's 24weeks and we had a great sex life before. Now she acts like i have the plague and it hurts my pride. I am not a dick cause then she will start crying. That makes me upset. I don't cheat, that's just not me. But she could have sucked me off on our anniversary. I work two Jobs and am done.jacking my dick at night all.alone.... fml i got needs too!
—Guest Evan

Hard to cope

Love &sex is the backbone of marriage.i understand women have complications during pregnancy due to hormonal changes in their bodies but that should not lead to no sex at all.i bet there are times when when a woman feels better to have sex so why not give your husband that opportunity instead of just keeping it to yourself thinking he understands what you are going through.
—Guest Que

impartial view

I can see both sides of the coin - since my wife has been pregnant it's the longest ive been without sex since I lost my virginity. That said I would never dream of cheating and I totally understand why she's not into sex at the moment. Sometimes I masturbate in private to keep myself from getting frustrated but I know once the baby is here we will back at it :)
—Guest frustrated guy

Half way!

Cutting your man off totally is just wrong, meet him half way and give it up a couple times a week this pregnancy is not all about you!!! Your man has stress too!!!!
—Guest Frustrated

Bed Intruder

I am 11 weeks pregnant and not happy about it. I enjoyed sex with my husband before-unless I was ovulating- due to my fear of pregnancy. Now that I am pregnant and had my first ultra sound (the one where the doctor has to violate you by shoving a camera up your cervix) I am pretty much disgusted by the act. Not because I don't love my husband or find him attractive but, because there is a baby in the room! It feels like an incestuous threesome! I don't think I'll hurt the kid or anything it just feels intrusive! Can anyone address this? I don't feel sexy with this life form taking up space in my body, natural or not! I am wondering when this crap is going to pass! I find it hard to be intimate with a freaking kid in the room. I wouldn't have sex with a kid in our bed! I know it sounds ignorant. But I am looking for some advise for a return to normality! Although my husband finds me attractive now I am sure as soon I start looking like a bleeding sow I won't be able to pay him to do it
—Guest Need Advice!

What it feels like at 5mos preg

To the guys out there including mine... It's not the easiest to explain. I as a woman didn't get it till preg. Symptoms are not like being sick they last for months. I have been so constipated I puked, heartburn with every new position, sciatic nerve pain from butt to toes, tired and can't sleep, everything smells bad including you and yes me too, constant stuffy nose for months, and sex positions won't let me breath and it feels like being strangled, after nothing but a sore crotch, if I do orgasm it feels no where near as good as before. I used to have a high sex drive and would even masturbate a few times a day even with regular sex, since becoming pregnant I can't even keep the idea of sex in my head without gagging. I am physically repulsed by it. I too hope it's temporary as its depressing. I am not an idiot who thinks sex hurts baby, and I have never been type to have to feel attractive to have sex as I have always been more like a guy and just didn't care as long as I got some.
—Guest Jo

to men

I am currently 22 weeks along and before being pregnant I wanted sex constantly. Now, I can't stand it. Before you go on further about its not far you can't get any... Let explain the feeling so you have a clue why I am not in the mood. First, I have an excellent partner and I do feel guilty I am not in mood for him. I on the other hand have felt awful day in and day out for 5 months.... It's like having the flu and a hangover and having to function without the benefit of calling off sick. So if you know what it feels like to have every joint in your body hurt, feet and hands swollen uncomfortably, constant constipation where a hug makes you feel like you could explode, extreme tiredness, not being able to sleep longer than 1 and a half hours at a time for months on end, and now my private area is sore, my Boobs hurt just to put a bra on, and now the men have the nerve to cry about not getting off.... So in that state you think my partner has the right to hurt me so he gets off.
—Guest chrissi

sex during pregnancy

I'm 32 weeks into my pregnancy. And my boyfriend has had sex with me maybe 5 times. I want him constantly, I try to get him to want to be sexual with me. He is the one telling me no. He doesn't want to hurt the baby, which I get. But I'd never go out and cheat on him just to get the sex I crave. They make toys and God gave us hands for a reason. Yes it does make me crazy not having it, but people need to respect others wishes. If you wanted a baby in the first place, sex is one of the things that comes up and knowing a lot of women don't want it should be respected. If you can't go without the sex from the girl carrying your baby, then why did you get her pregnant? Because cheating isn't the answer. Your with someone because you love them, not to hurt them. And if your with them to hurt them, then there are many words that I shall not say you are.
—Guest anonymous

why don't you want me any more

I am 33 weeks pregnant and want sex but can't get my boyfriend to understand this.I feel less that a women. why does he not understand I want him? Is it that he is nervous? or just don't desire me like he used to? My feelings are hurt about it and I talked about it but still he has not changed
—Guest Got to fill my needs

not wanting sex while pregnant

I am 27 weeks pregnant I have not wanted sex hardy at all...either to sick, soar or just blah...my husband Is a jerk about it..he thinks i'm not attracted to him or i'm slipping away from him...I keep tellin him that's not it all its just the hormones and everything about being pregnant!! He stresses me out with this almost everyday!! he has looked on line and seen the responses for it and is still on me about it...I cant even enjoy being pregnant!! what am I suppose to do???
—Guest Jessie

How it really should be

Sorry to tell you "men" your needs are now 3rd. I have 1 year old and 3 year old so I have been through 2 pregnancies and 5 years of marriage. The 1st one is the hardest mentally and physically guys get stressed and girls get stressed learn to deal with it, guys atleast your not gaining a 5th or more of your body weight pushing down on your genitals and out of your gut! And girls try and be nice to your guy he is gonna be stressed out the max wanting to be the best dad he can how not knowing how to if you don't feel like sex for whatever reason throw him a bone and use those new boobs and give him a blow job it's a win win you will feel like he finds you sexy(which he should) and he gets a release. I think the people who don't plan on having a child complain the most about the harder points of pregnancy and kids in general and all I can say is if you can't take it don't have sex. and finally enjoy the experience after all it is a little part of you comming to the world!
—Guest Loving husband and father

Share Your Advice

Advice for Not Wanting Sex While Pregnant?

Receive a one-time notification when your response is published.

©2014 About.com. All rights reserved.

We comply with the HONcode standard
for trustworthy health
information: verify here.