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Readers Respond: Advice for Not Wanting Sex While Pregnant?

Responses: 92

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Updated September 04, 2010

Oral

I'm 7 months in, & out of the whole pregnancy we've only had sex about 4 times, he still ask me to have sex but when I say no he doesn't complain because he understand's that with the weight I'm packing on & movement of our baby it's a bit uncomfortable. I tell him how sorry I am & he comforts me & says its ok, that he understands. Cheating is no where on his list of options, if his in need of release he masturbate's, sometimes I still give him oral sex...Which leads to my Advice to you horny men out there, if you are in need of release & your other half doesn't feel up to it, ask her for oral sex instead, & if she still refuses than be a man & use your hands... For those of you who refuse to masturbate than that's your problem, but don't even think about cheating on your wife or girlfriend just to get yourself off, she's sacrificing a lot for this baby you gave her, the least you can sacrific is your urges.
—Guest Chasing Emma

GET OVER YOURSELVES!

I'm reading all of these comments & all I think is "WOW". I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and am married to a wonderful man. I haven't wanted nor thought of sex since I was about 3-4 months pregnant. My husband has complained a couple times because I was EXTREMELY horny in the beginning but he understands that hormones do change. MEN get over yourselves already. You created this baby too so deal with the consequences that come with it. Cheating is a definite no-no because that'll hurt your relationship & hurt your family. If you want a stress reliever then ask for something else or maybe even give her a rub down, maybe that'll help get her in the mood. WOMEN- Stop with the whining. If you don't want sex then don't give it to him. Close your legs! Spoil him another way. If you feel guilty then give him a nice massage to make up for it. There are other ways to make your man happy & help him be stress free. GET OVER YOURSELVES PEOPLE! ITS ONLY 9 MONTHS OF THIS!!
—Guest Kassie

no sex period

Me and my wife have been separated for quite awhile due to the military. I got her pregnant in November and I saw her at the end of February and now this week. We had sex twice in February but it lasted roughly 5 minutes before she couldn't do it anymore. Now, I spend 600 to fly across the country to stay with her for a week and what do I get? Nothing. I hardly get kisses. She says that she just doesn't want it and she can't just fake it. I understand that but she has put me through a lot of shit since we have been apart and I feel u deserve something yet she "doesn't do pity sex"...its tearing me apart but she doesn't notice. She is happy with us even though I have voiced my frustrations. I don't know when I will see her again and its very hard to just let this go
—Guest Taj

NO SEX and frustrated about it!

i am 32 weeks now and the last time my husband and i had sex was when i was 14weeks preggo. we used to have sex almost every day and really loved it! but when we discovered we were pregnant it seems like he is avoiding me! i have been trying to please him but nothing seem to work! i am so stressed and frustrated about it and i would cry for sex! LOL sounds so desperate!!!! he said he doesnt like it coz he is afraid to hurt the baby., he is tired, or whatever excuses he could ever use he would tell me!i hate it!!!! i think, that is so stupid and he is selfish! i hate sex toys--but im thinking of getting one just to satisfy myself! worst is to cheat on him!!!it sucks big time. like WTF???! its not easy to be pregnant so GUYS atleast satisfy ur baby Momma! adore her and always make her feel beautiful!
—Guest momtobe

a year later...

My girlfriend lost interest in sex by the second semester of pregnancy. We went from everyday, often 2,3,4, and sometimes 5 times in a day to nearly nothing. I understood that it must be difficult to say the least to carry a child so I didn't push the issue often. Our little girl is now 1 year old and I'm lucky if I get sex twice a month still. Usually once. The baby sleeps between us at night still and she thinks it's the best thing ever. She won't touch me to "help" me out but instead tells me to take care of myself in the shower. We only have sex when we can get a sitter for two or three hours and it has become a "hurry up, let's do it so we can get back to the baby." I complain about the lack of sex now because discussing it hasn't gotten me anywhere. Now I just seem annoying I'm sure and I feel pathetic. Our daughter is the most amazing and beautiful little girl and I'm happy she is in my life but the lack of sex is slowly killing me. I don't feel like a man any more.
—Guest Michael

Am so stressed!

My girlfriend is 8 weeks pregnant now. We both used to love having sex before she conceived. Sex was really fun for both of us that we could have it almost countless times a week. But now it has all changed. It is the exact opposite. She is so lazy to do the simplest thing now. She won't let me touch her, complains my hands feel warm on her, and this hits my understanding cuz she is ever covered head to toe complaining of feeling cold. I just wonder why she won't let my 'worm' hands do it instead of covering up in bedsheets! Well the point is, honestly...she is starving me...like a lot! that I might want to completely withdraw from her and do some other things. Chances are that I won't like to have sex with her when she finally gains the desire to do it with me again. It is because, for a few times we have had sex nowadays she kinda screams, as in painfully that I have to force myself to climax. It used to take us 30 or more minutes of enjoyment before we could both cum, but now 2-3min
—Guest Ron

There isn't really an answer here...

My wife is 30-weeks pregnant with our 3rd child and our sex life is virtually non-existant, once a fortnight at most. We used to be at it twice a day before the babies - but now her libido is totally shot. She is permanently exhausted, while I'm still as horny as ever jerking off daily, sometimes 3 times a day. I always feel reluctant to initiate sex because quite frankly its so frustrating to get mentally 'in-the-zone' to be turned down yet again. She feels bad, I feel frustrated - its' lose-lose, and not worth the bad vibes. I care very much for my wife, and empathise what she is going through physically and mentally. I understand, really I do. She hates her pregnant, and post-baby body, and no she's not as hot as she once was - but I still find her sexy. I don't want to pressurise her into having sex reluctantly, nor make her uncomfortable, or guilty. I have sexual needs that are totally unfulfilled. Im not going to cheat on her - but I understand COMPLETELY why one would. It sucks
—Guest Johnson

enough!!!!!!!!!!!

My girlfriend is 14 weeks pregnant last time having sex it was 3 weekends back. She wouldn't let me hit. I love my girl and I don't wanna end up cheating just get laid. Ladies you must satisfy you men. I'm literally aroused as I'm writing this. I won't masturbate as I have girl, I totally don't agree .......
—Guest george

Need advice

I read the posts on here so I decided to reach out. So I'm 15 weeks pregnant and for a while now my boyfrend and I have been arguing more and more because of the lack of sex. I mean I love him and all but I just don't want to have sex like if we don't have any that morning he catches an attude and thats the whole day. Like I try so do it but it hurts and I feel like crap. It's not because of him cause he find me attractive I just dont find me attractive. I feel bad for him but I can't do anything.
—Guest Stressed out

can't stop

I love sex every since I got pregnant I stay horny I b wanting to keep doing some times my boyfriend can't keep up I'm like some freak ball I b horny five minutes after we just had sex but I never gets tired I am now 13weeks and I enjoy my pregnancy -)
—Guest guest Shan'tella

Wow

Most of the responses I've read from the men have been flat out embarrasing. My wife is 19 weeks pregnant with our first child and we were on pelvic rest (no sex at ALL) until about a month ago. Now that we are able to have sex again, she doesn't really feel like it (still trying to find a good pregnancy position if anyone has any good advice). While it is extremely frustrating for me, I love my wife and would not want to put her through something that she doesn't want to do just so I can "relieve some stress". Plus, it's pretty much a waste of time for me if she doesn't enjoy it too. So, for you guys that say you "love" your wife or gf but are trying to justify cheating on her for going through something that is normal that YOU played a major role in creating... grow up and learn what loving someone really means. If you married her only for sex then this is probably going to be the first of many wakeup calls for you.
—Guest Joe

He want 2 understand

I realy love bt dnt wanna have sex wth him i'm 4 weeks preg even if tell he says i understand n try all means 2 get me.it really hurt nt inside bt whn he penetrate me.i can c he want me bt cnt gv hm. I jst wnt 2 be nxt 2hm
—Guest Sbhu

My Dear Husband

Im 29 weeks and hate sex at the moment. We used to have sex multiple times a day. However, now it hurts and I just fake through it. We usually only have sex 2 maybe 3 times a week now. I just do it for him though. Any other time I just stick a video game in front of him and he is content. Reading these comments makes me disappointed in people. Men, there is never an excuse to cheat. And women, there is no need to ignore your husband. It's only nine months of your life, is it really worth throwing away a lifetimes relationship over sex? There has to be more reasons you're with your partner than just sex.
—Guest Cd517

No sex

I do everything for my wife. Make breakfast, clean the house. Pay all the bills. Give her massages. Make bubble baths for her. But as a man how am I supposed to just suck it up and hold back using my penis for 9 months. I didn't get married to the love of my life to jerk off so which ever woman said that is an ignorant idiot and doesn't understand men at all. My wife doesn't want to do anything with me throughout her whole pregnancy. Then when the baby is born it will be hard to find time for sex too. How is a man supposed to go a year plus with no sex when most of our relationship was expressed through sex. I would like an answer from a man seeing as the women sound completely biased and will never understand so I am not interested in what a woman has to say regarding my issue. Please help. I would never want to cheat, but I can't deal with this either.
—Guest Benjy

scum of society

Wow...most of the men that have responded here are bottom of the barrel. I loved reading the ones that call their pregnant wives selfish, or the ones that talk about their shattered relationships and changed feelings, but the icing on this cake was reading about the men saying they are more inclined to cheat. Yes. How dare we be so selfish as to grow a human life inside our bodies for 9 months and selfishly deny your physical needs. You all should be ashamed of yourselves. You were lucky enough to find a woman to carry your child who most likely wants to spend the rest of her life with you and you call her selfish or want to cheat or think about other women while she bares your child?? Being pregnant is the hardest thing I've ever done and it certainly does not get my motor running. I have a patient loving husband who would go to the moon and back for his family amd understands that I hurt. He doesnt want to put me in anymore pain even for "2 minutes". That's a real man.
—Guest Tess

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