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Readers Respond: How did you know when you were having your last baby?

Responses: 17

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Family size can be dictated by religion, money, medical issues and personal preference. But how did you or will know when you're having your last baby? Do you have the right number of kids in mind? Will you simply know? Does your budget make you stop and evaluate every cycle? What thoughts are you having concerning the process of deciding your family size? Share Your Thoughts

health

We are expecting our 7th baby soon. We are very excited, but a little sad, knowing she will be our last. I have had increasingly complicated pregnancies. I hemorrhaged until after 20 weeks. I've been hospitalized several times, kidney problems, and right now dealing with uterine scar problems. It's painful, and dangerous for both of us. We prayed fervently about this, and believe it was the right choice. We are blessed to have an OB/GYN.team that stood with us no matter what we chose. Their respect for our beliefs and support made it easier to make a clear choice. I am thankful to God for the children he has given me. Our hearts are open to foster care and addition as well. We believe all children are gift, and they deserve a home filled with love.
—Guest Mrs.B

Hard to Come to Terms

I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant with #2, and we are done. We wanted 4, but after being diagnosed with possible Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disorder each subsequent pregnancy would become more risky for my heart health. We plan instead to complete our family by adopting children when our children are older. Our family still feels "incomplete" and this is just the path we are meant to follow. It's devastating to come to terms with.
—Guest Katrina

My body told me!

I'm currently pregnant with #4 and although I'm only in my first trimester I'm already exhausted and sick and am not sure how I will last for the rest of the pregnancy and through another labour! My body is telling me it's done. I'm thankful for my babies but could not handle anymore - I'm still trying to convince myself I can handle 4 - esp when my 3rd will only be 15 months! Finacially I don't think we could do more either,
—Guest Liise

still don't- a constant struggle...

I am a Christian with five children here searching for answers that only God can give. I felt peace with being done after number 3 was 5 years old..I was shocked to get pregnant a fourth time. That really rocked my foundation. She was/is such a blessing that I no longer knew what to feel. What if I had trusted my own feelings and made a permanent choice? She never would have been born. These thoughts had me dragging my feet on using prevention OR being intimate with my husband. Which led to another pregnancy. Number 5. Numbers 1-4 were all girls. So I feel guilty admitting I wasnt that excited this time because I figured it was another girl...nothing new and Im exhausted and dont feel connected at all to my older children. But number 5 was a boy and he took the breath right outta me. The husband better watch out...Ive never loved a guy so much! LOL But here I am again..Does he need a brother? Does God have a child right now thats intended for me where I can fulfill or block His plan?
—AprilWolfe

knew it

I decided to put a stop to child bearing for economic and health reasons.
—Guest carlton

Are we done?

My husband and I hqv gone through seven pregnancies, 5 didn't make it past 12 weeks. My husband finds our two beautiful girls to be it for him however, I just can't seem to shake the thought of a son. I see little boys and my heart aches, maybe I'm old fashion and can't seem to feel complete with out a boy but I also know how lucky we are to have two miracles smiling at us every morning;) I think three would be my max but I'm unsure if I would say the same if it was a girl...my husband is willing to try for me, I just need to be sure it's right for us. Any thoughts parents out there?
—Guest courtney

This is it...

I have 4 children and lost a baby at 10 weeks between #3 and #4. I'm 20 weeks with #5 and know this is it. I want to be able toraise all my children well, and with our plans, finances, and no real family living close to help, I don't think I could handle any more than 5 and still do it "well." Hopefully that makes sense. I worry about having some sadness after the baby is born and all the "stages" are over for the final time. This pregnancy has been pretty rough though and I'm turning 35 shortly after the baby is born, so I'm going to try to remind myself that it truly is the right decision for us when my hormones start wanting me to believe otherwise!!
—Guest Angela

Surprise

I went from being an only child to raising quite a few kids due to my husband's large family. He had a son from a previous, I had a son from a previous, we had a daughter together, then we raised his younger sister (15) and brother (9). We were done, or so we thought, we talked about having more of our own a lot, but the time was never right. Then 9 years after our youngest child and recovering from health issues I found out I was pregnant. A little disappointed at first that the newest one was gonna be all alone, but come to find out twins. We weren't planning on having such a big family, but it was so worth it. I thank God for all the blessings.
—Guest membername

This is the last...

Despite the fact I would love 4 children, this is going to be our last pregnancy. The first trimester does a number on me and this time I found out I simply do not want to do this again. If we want to add to our family, we will become foster parents.
—janelarsen

doula cbe

I guess I am a little strange, I believe God has every woman seed numbered I believe you can't and want have any more than he intends so I guess that would explain why I am typing with one hand holding my number seven. Just what if I had stopped at 1-6 smiles?
—Guest shayla

My body said so

With #5 on the way my body is telling me "I'm done" so I'm going to listen. I've have increasing problems with each pregnancy and feel that 5 is a good fit for us. If we feel that we want more in the future we have decided to adopt.
—britnei_m

My body decided for me

After two kids, I very much wanted a third. My husband wasn't so sure. Finally he decided he wanted to give it a try. After about 9 months I conceived. At 17 weeks gestation our baby died due to a chromosomal abnormality. We later learned that any subsequent pregnancies would have a very high risk of chromosomal abnormalities. That combined with my history of increasingly severe migraines with each pregnancy (lasting well into the 2nd trimester) means I can't be pregnant again. It is devastating.
—elena

Just knew

When my husband and I got married we already had one son. He only wanted 2 children while I wanted 3. After our youngest son was born we knew we wernet done. Our daughter came 18 months later. We werent sure so I got an IUD. We later got pregnant with our 4th child (another girl) and I knew from the start of the pregnancy I was done and so was he. She has been here almost 6 months and we still don't want anymore children. Which is good because he got a vascetomy before she was born. 4 is definitely our limit.
—Guest lynn

Thats a good question?

I currently have 3 boys and we are TTC with #4, but since our third baby me and my husband did ask the question several times, if we were done or not. Also I question the fact how would I know that we were done. But I think the answer came to us more medically then anything. I have had 3 c-sections and 2 prior premie babys. So we consulted with a doctor who would perform one more c-section on me and so we are going for #4. I hope if number 4 is a boy again I will still feel complete!
—Ambs86

How I knew I was done having babies

I lost my first baby during 25 weeks gestation- God gave me two more after that- now I am done. I felt privileged to even have become pregnant- and when we lost him- I knew it didn't mean anything other than another angel being needed. Four months later- pregnant with another boy and less than two years after our son- came our third pregnancy with our daughter. A boy and a girl- my dream come true with God holding one and his trust in us with two more.
—Guest Sunshine

I'm A Planner

I'm a huge planner and the plan was always to have just two - after my second I never really gave it another thought - I had a daughter and a son and was very content with that. Perhaps if I had two girls or two boys I might have had a second thought but I think I would have stopped either way. DH had a vasectomy when our second was six weeks old and we never once regretted it. We became grandparents when our son was 16 so not too many years to wait to have more babies to cuddle and love. Now my daughter is done at two. Will have to wait for my son or great-grandchildren. In the meantime I will get my baby fixes by being a doula and helping other women.
—hostdiane

I always thought I'd just know...

I never preplanned how many kids I wanted, and my husband always thought about a generic two or three. After we got married and started truly discussing a family, our budget and our beliefs, we decided to wing it. In playing it by ear, we stop to ask ourselves, "Are we done?" And so far the answer is no. I just know that one day, I'll know I'm done. We're planning for number four and I'm thinking that this will probably be the one that pushes me across the finish line.
—Guest Meagan

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