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Readers Respond: How can dads help be a part of pregnancy?

Responses: 58

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Updated February 17, 2010

From the article: Dads and Pregnancy
Dads help make pregnancy a special time. But sometimes dads admit that they feel left out or confused. They aren't pregnant, so they lack the physical symptoms, unless they suffer from couvade syndrome. So how can a dad help? If you're a dad, share what you did to be a part of pregnancy. Moms, share what he did that worked or didn't work. Share Your Advice

Dads Are Already Part Of The Pregnancy

The question is how to make dads a part of the pregnancy. Well, only one of them can be pregnant, but he can make sure to give her care as they talk about the baby and talk about her experience & how the baby is developing. This site did not ask women to brag on the man and how awesome he is, because if that is the case he should be writing a comment to brag on her too. Ladies, don't make this blog about your man. You are the awesome one, you are carrying a human being in YOUR body. Dads are already a part of the pregnance. The mother is carrying and nourishing the baby or bavies physically and emotionally. Dads ahosuld be with the motehr and talking with her and loving her while she is pregnant. During the nine months of c, he should love mom & adore her body and the love with get through to the baby. When the baby is born, you all continue to be together physically and emotionally, then spread that to the child as he oe she is maturing. This is how we develop an awesome individual.
—Guest Beryl

Danni

I'm 11 weeks and my boyfriend is very excited to be a daddy. I've been feeling very low and very sick and have days where I can't get out of bed. Today as a prime example, so he tries to wake me up (plus he wakes me up alot during the night) and when I don't get up he tells me I'm being lazy and reminds me of what time it is. I asked him if he could go next door to the shops and he refused because "I can go and he has two jobs to be getting on with" (he works from home) how can I make him understand.
—Guest Danni

Why Are You Braggin On Your Man?

What is it with you women and all the amn bragging for your husbands and boyfriends? YOU are the one who is pregnant and needs special diet and care. Stop exalting your man. He is supposed to do things for you, pregnant or not. So hush your mouth. Let him brag on you a bit, as it won't last long and he will be looking for you to get back into that kitchen and cook and clean. So stop being silly and so goo goo over your man. This is your and your baby's time to receive extra care. He is supposed to help you.
—Guest Pam

it's normal

It's normal for women to feel hate towards the dads to be when Its a boy trust me I have to boys :)
—Guest jkh

Busy Dad

I am 3months of my first pregnancy. My husband is very busy. I work and he too does work. I leave home for work early in the morning and come back in the evening. Whole day am at work. My husband works for two companies; leaves home the same time I do comes back for lunch when am not around. After having lunch gets rest for 2 hours and goes to town. whenever I call him he is in a meeting and when I ask him why he didn't pick the phone, he shouts at me saying that I shout alot and give him stress. I love him so much. When I go home tired and stressed, I would love him to be there for me and make me have rest, tell me stories and show me love but instead he comes home at 11pm. All that time am lonely while feeling pain and tired. When he comes I shout at him and he shouts more at me then goes to bed and turns the his back to me. U can feel my situation. During the weekends, I would love him to be there with me and take me for a walk but instead he cares of his friends & work. luv u dear!
—Guest Nashad

pregnancy with a twist

Im 14weeks and 2days pregnant and I already have a 6yr old girl. I am a single mom who searched for my first kid's dad so I can concieve again since I don't want to get pregnant from another man. I want my children to have the same father. He agreed even though he has a live-in partner already. I am very happy because we only had to do it once and ta-dah! It's really a miracle. He knows but ofcourse, I don't want to ruin his family and it's so totally okay for me to carry this alone. My daughter is very excited about having a little brother/sister. I sometimes feel depressed because I'm still inlove with my ex but it's all worth it. I planned this and with or without him, I'll be strong for my daughter and my unborn baby. DON'T BE SAD IF YOU HAVE TO CARRY THE PREGNANCY BY YOURSELF. BABIES ARE MIRACLES. My daughter maybe stubborn sometimes but she is the best and I love her so much. We can't wait for our little joy.
—DANEGEEROUS

Sensitive

Well i was pregnant. But at 7 weeks, i miscarried. But the second my Fiancé & I found out i was pregnant(3wks)..he cooked, cleaned, n spoiled me. He hurried home from work to get to my appointments with me. He was always by my side. The week i miscarried, my body was in a stressful situation. I am a severe Asthmatic n loss a great deal of oxygen. Dr & I think this may have caused the miscarriage. Knowing that i was not alone in this miscarriage, helped me a lot. It affected my Fiancé as well. We cried together. We sometimes talk about it..but he knows that it hurts me so he will just hold me..n say...someday. I really don't know what i would do without him. We are planning our wedding for this Oct. he already has 2 children. A daughter who is 19 & a son who is 11. He doesn't get to see his son as often cause he lives 7 hours away from us. I think that he was so close to this pregnancy because..he was going to have a baby here with him. I feel sad for him sometimes.
—Guest Anna

Caring husband

Im 4 months pregnent with my second born and my husband is loving an carying.he help me with in the house&my assignment.he like to touch my belly&he cant wait 2 hold his child.
—Guest Kgaugelo

preg as a dad

My girl is 6 months preg with a boy. I'm excited. Funny while typing this she called me on the phone. Guess she wasn't feeling "us" anymore. Ironic. Look dads to be here's what I say. Be there for her, go to appointments if u can, work, make her feel special, be excited cuz its a baby. A part of you. Try helping arould the house like laundry, try cooking since u are gonna have to learn. For me this preg has been horrible. She hated me the whole time. Called me names, made me feel small. I put up with it but it deff did its damage. Mind you I'm a 31 year old that is stable with a good job. I'm not what she called me. I am now still excited to meet my son when he's born. I wanna coach his teams and stuff. Take him to steeler games lol. I'm pumped. Jordan is gonns b with his dad as much as he can ;)
—Guest jkh

Men are weird

My bf of 7 years goes through times of depression and being scared about the baby. But he is a very loving father. We def have our rough days, but we get through it because we love our baby. It is hard to know what our guys are going through. They experience an entirely different world than us when we are pregnant. You have to realize that you need to pay just as much attention to him as always. Things don't get pushed aside when you have a baby..the baby is additional.
—Guest Guesto

Getting Dad Involved

Getting my husband involved was a challenge. To be fair, I went pretty “pregnancy obsessed” and was constantly chatting, living, breathing baby. It kind of freaked him out… I knew that he was excited but I just couldn’t get him to relate. So, I decided to get him more involved and outwardly excited by making it relate to one thing he loves – sports. Every year he has a huge football and march madness pool with his buddies, so I set up a “betting” pool for the baby. To make life easy I used an online one (some include bellybets.com, expectnet.com, etc.) Or just good old pen and paper work!! It really related to him and even got his buddies into it (which was a HUGE win for me, since we were the first out of our fairly young friend group to get pregnant). I hope this helps! Thanks for the great article!
—Guest Tamara

Loving daddy to be

My boyfriend is the best daddy to be I'm almost three weeks pregnant and even now he rubs and kisses my tummy. Like yesterday we were in Walmart and I was feeling a bout of sickness coming. I took care of it and when I got to him he got on his knees
—Guest Guest j

FROM NOT TO SWEET,CARING & THOUGHTFUL

I am now 10weeks & 5days pregnant ..i start mood swing since my 5weeks until now , my hubby didnt understand well wat i feel,i always wanted him at my side but he always refuse & tell me "give me some freedom" i always end up crying & alone :( but just this week he changed,he always follow wat i say,he tell me not to think negatives for me & allic's health cause it will be ok ..tells me im still hot & sexy ..he's always sweet,he hugs me everytime & hold/talk to allic .. he wanted to feel allic's heartbeat & amazed w/ it .. though he still dont re-think his saying when he's totally upset of me being so moody & saying words over & over again .. :( i understand him cause its our 1st baby & we're still at the adjustment/calamity sceneries .. still i know how much he loves me and will do everything for me & for allic .. :) so i can really say that im blessed to have a hubby like him .. i love him so much ..
—Guest SOLIRISH

coward man

I have been pregnant for 3 month, my bf lives abroad. He just doesnt show any love or care for me and my pregnancy. I only have support from my family and friends. He has never called to check up on me for once knowing for the fact that I was schooling and had to stop. The feeling of me carrying a bustard makes me sick and depression has always been my greatest friend
—Guest Oni

What to expect when your a confused dad

My wife and I are currently sixteen weeks pregnant and this is my first baby, mind you I'm seventeen years old. I work two jobs full-time, go to college part time and take care of my Amber to the best of my ability! But I can relate to how you feel 100%! You could work all day long go run arrands after that get home at 10pm, make dinner, do the dishes and then when it comes bed time and you wanna snuggle with your lady it's; "STAAHHP YOU'RE SMUTHERING ME!!!" The best advice I can give you, man to man is keep you head up, don't give any lip and you know the saying think about what you say before you say it? With a pregnant woman in the house take an extra ten seconds to re-think about the words about to come out of your mouth. It doesn't matter how tired you are do the chores around the house becase you best believe she's TWICE as tired! When she gets snappy and crazy with the emotions, politely tell her that you're going to take a walk around the block to let her calm down. Just use your best interest my brutha. Our BIGGEST part in this expierience is to be supportive, caring, understanding, and to do everything in our power to assist our wife and baby in every way shape or form! All of the crazy emotions, mood swing and everthing in between and beyond will be more than worth it once you get the chance to hold you beautiful baby!
—Guest Jason Johnson

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