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Readers Respond: How can dads help be a part of pregnancy?

Responses: 36

By

Updated February 17, 2010

From the article: Dads and Pregnancy
Dads help make pregnancy a special time. But sometimes dads admit that they feel left out or confused. They aren't pregnant, so they lack the physical symptoms, unless they suffer from couvade syndrome. So how can a dad help? If you're a dad, share what you did to be a part of pregnancy. Moms, share what he did that worked or didn't work.

It wonderful

I found out that my wife is pregnant about 7weeks ago and I was so happy to know all I just want to do is to help her through this period and to be a loving husband and a caring father.
—Hurlla

Great father to be!

I have to say finding out I was pregnant was a big surprise.However my bf has been the best!!! Being there for all the appointments,giving me massages when I'm very exhausted,I get moody at times then I well be very emotional the next minute and he has been dealing with all that in a great way... tells me I'm beautiful and attractive even when I feel the complete opposite, he talks, hugs and kisses the belly ....both very excited to see our son be born in like 7 weeks!!!!!
—Guest R.L.

not as much sex anymore

Is it normal for the guy to stop wanting sex all of a sudden during a pregnancy?
—Guest guest n

Thanks

A big thank you to all who posted I'm here completely panicking about the whole pregnancy and after, even though it's what we both want. But after reading these comments I hope to help a bit more to make life as comfy for my partner as can be if only she would let me, she's a rather independent lass so always come up against a wall when trying, yet some of the posts were lovely to read and I think any male that can support his partner and baby deserves to be called a man, yet the pathetic excuses that don't do either or both are certainly not worthy of being called a man and to all whose don't keep going and don't let them bring you down all the best everyone and once again thank you
—Guest Dan

Best Daddy To Be Ever

I just found out I'm a month pregnant, completely unexpectedly of course! My fiance and I didn't plan on having kids yet, we cried and cried when we saw the test. But he changed 360 when we were done! That man's first words to me were "I will do everything in my power to take care of you in this baby" he's been the best daddy to be since. I love him with all my heart and I can't wait for our little one!
—Guest Lilly

Its New

I am about to become a father, my partner and I only just found out about the little treasure thats on its way, I'm still young and I have to admit the idea of a tiny little human that is totally relying on us is a little daunting but I am ready for the responsibility and I tell my partner every day how much I love her and our little treasure, sure...times will get hard and there will always be bumps in the road but for everyone out there that is experiencing what I am, just remember, its all worth it.
—Guest C.R.M

Just Be Patient

Don't tell her she's crazy. If the doctor puts her on a low-sugar diet, support her. Touch her belly. Give her a kiss. Tell her she's beautiful. Don't raise your voice at her or expect her to be as full of energy as she was previously. When she cooks you dinner, thank for her for it. Help clean up the dishes. Reading some of the other responses made me so sad. If you both smoke, and she's quit, don't make her buy your cigarettes and don't smoke when you are in the car with her. Women, if your man does these things, please appreciate him! He's probably freaked out, especially if it's your first, but if he's being decent to you, love him for it.
—Guest L

Lovely daddy :)

My boyfriend became my fiancé when we found out that I was pregnant. We'd been talking about it already, and we're definitely in love, so it wasn't as if we felt forced to do it. He's a wonderful daddy, and our baby isn't even here yet! He'll lay with his head on my belly and sing her songs, and she'll kick his face excitedly :) He doesn't let me be lazy all the time, because sitting around makes me depressed and he knows it. HE cooks for ME now, and it's interesting to see what he comes up with :) when he comes home from work he'll kiss my belly and say, "Hello Elayna!"(that's the name we've picked for her) and he has the most loving look on his face. He tells me I'm beautiful, every day, which is very helpful when I'm feeling sad because I don't look the same as before I was pregnant. He says, "You've got my baby girl inside you! You're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."
—Guest Stephanie

Spud

So...your male...your wife/partner is pregnant.... support support support. Her mood will change like the wind..support support support... her and your reward is a little one who will change, enhance your world - just support support support
—Guest Spud

Sad

My guy doesn't realize how hormonal and sad I am. I don't feel attractive, I get agitated at the smallest things, I'm trying to give up everything bad for the baby but he just carries on with his life as it was before, drinking, smoking, smoking weed. He tries to cheer me up, but only when i tell him i am upset. sometimes I wish he would just spontaneously tell me I am pretty, what a good job I'm doing, or say no to going out with his friends. I'm lonely and sad, but I am afraid to bring it up.
—Guest j

Thoughtful Daddy

My boyfriend has been absolutely wonderful throughout the pregnancy. He's been understanding of my fatigue, my aches and pains, my cravings, and my moods!! Every time I come home, he rubs my belly and says "hi" to baby before kissing me and telling me that he missed me. He tells me daily how beautiful I am, even though I don't feel that way! And the best part of all is the random surprises, like the roses he left in my car the other day while I was at work. It brightened my day after a VERY stressful week and a long night at work. He has made this pregnancy absolutely amazing. All men should treat their women like they're all that matters to them, especially during pregnancy. This is an emotional and stressful time for us and we need our significant other to remind us that they love us!
—Guest Courtney

Future dad

I am going to be a father, I love my wife to bits but some times its very daunting that in three months there is going to be a small person who does not understand yes, no, please, thanks or anything, so if the worse that happens is that once or twice my beautiful wife gets a little snappy, then I will happily take that till the end of time.
—Guest oz

All Around Amazing Man

I have to say that when I married my husband he was going to be amazing. He already had two from his first marriage, but with this little boy growing inside me, he makes me feel like a proud Mommy to be. He makes me feel like this is OUR first, he makes it special for me and him and we enjoy every moment. There are rough parts of pregnancy, but I must say with a supportive Husband on my side, it makes it so much easier. Note to all Soon to be Daddy's: Comfort your partner and make her feel loved and cared for. She will have a great pregnancy!
—Guest First Go Around

Couvade right now

Couvade syndrome is real I'm experiencing it now. This is my wife's 3rd pregnancy, we have two boys and this is the girl, I had never experience this with the other pregnancies. I have not felt the nausea and vomiting but I have gained 25 pounds and I have experience the depression, sleepiness, mood changes and the worst I can feel it on me, something like a hormone that is not part of me circulating on my veins and is making me feel this way. You probably think that I'm exaggerating but my background is medicine and I'm a medical doctor myself, so if you are a man and you are feeling like me you are not along, hopefully it will end at birth the only think that I wish is not to have the sympathetic pain, that will be creepy.
—Guest Morqueus

Things change

In the beginning of our relationship everything was great. I felt close to him and things were great. We even had gotten pregnant but of course in any relationship what goes up must come down, we hit rock bottom and lost the baby (God rest its soul) though we had managed to rise up together from the fall. Now I'm almost five months pregnant and he's all about the baby. He forgets about me no compliments to make me feel better about myself while my body is changing or anything, almost like I have nothing to do with this pregnancy. He makes rude remarks and comments that are hurtful. How do you cope with a man like this and deal with being pregnant? Makes me wish I wasn't pregnant and things didn't change! Dads you all can help by just keep constantly reminding her she's as beautiful as she was before the baby. Sometimes saying nothing is doing something, the wrong thing at the wrong time makes you wrong. Remember she is just as much important as the baby without mom there is no baby!
—Guest anesha
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