From the article: 5 Ways to Make Dads Comfortable at Birth
Most of the time we gloss over what everyone else says, thinks or does when it comes to labor pain. But what about dad? Does he get a say? What did he think about epidurals in labor? Was he more pro natural childbirth? Was he begging for the epidural for himself? Just how did it go in your family? Was he scared? Did a childbirth class or doula help? Labor and delivery can do that to people. Share Your Experience
- My husband and I took classes and read plenty of books before we had our daughter. I had planned to try to go natural and ended up having an epidural when labor was not progressing fast enough. He was supportive of both options and the epidural gave both of us a chance to save up energy for the pushing phase. He was just as attentive and never left my side. He was relieved that I was not in so much pain and the experience was very enjoyable. I would do it again. I have the best husband!
- —Guest tara
- My wife wanted to do it without the drugs, and I was on board with her decision. After the fact, it is interesting that she seems to have blocked out the trauma and I have a very vivid memory of some of the more difficult moments. I must say that I'm proud of my wife for having two children with no meds at all--it is clearly painful at times, but we both know that the absence of sedatives or neural blocking medications makes the birth safer for both baby and mother.
- —Guest Dad of Two
- In the few cases where I have had clients request/require an epidural I found the fathers simply checked out at that point - most laid down and went to sleep (as did the mothers) and any interaction with the labor was pretty much gone until it was time to push which I often felt they then felt was an inconvenience.
- When I gave birth at a naval hospital in the very early 80's spinal anesthesia was not an option - if you need anesthesia you were put under. Because of this it was exceptionally important that fathers (the only ones allowed in your room unless they waived the option or weren't available and then you could choose one other person) be really educated in how to help you. With our first we took a simple Lamaze class (in 1980 it was basically nothing but breathing exercises) and we both had a really rough time. With our second we had an amazing MW that insisted we really both be educated - my birth was wonderful and my husband knew exactly what to do to get me over the walls when I hit them.
We couldn't agree.
- She wanted natural and I wanted her to not suffer. So we agreed to try it without and see what happens... We're taking a childbirth class and she wants me to read a book. I'm not really a big fan of having a lot of people, so I think it's just going to be us in there when the baby comes but she's still pushing for a doula.
- —Guest DDad
It's up to her...
- I really had a preference for no drugs. It's simply how I was raised because my mom was a labor and delivery nurse. She didn't use medications with us and told us stories all the time. Though I grew up realizing that's not what society said in general. Thankfully I married someone who had similar beliefs. Basically we summed our belief up as avoiding epidurals as long as we could until it became the right option for our births. Thankfully it didn't the first time around and we're hoping for a similar outcome this time, but she's probably more open than I am and that's okay. I'm just there to help her anyway I can. Though it is up to me to help her and not just sit on my butt an watch TV like many of the guys I work with think that they should be doing.
- —Guest BabyDad
No Epidural, Please.
- My husband knew that I wanted to have an unmedicated birth and he supported me on that decision. Then, he read up some on why it would make for a safer and easier birth if we chose to go unmedicated and he became my biggest cheerleader. We took a good out-of-hospital childbirth class to prepare ourselves and learn natural pain relieving techniques. We hired a doula to help us both, as well. After my daughter was born, my husband was never more proud of me for providing her the start that we both wanted.
was aware of the risks
- My husband was aware of the risks to an epidural - as well as the chances of it not working properly. He was very supportive of my desire to have an un-medicated labor & was quote convincing when sharing stats & info with this epidural-preferring family.
- —Guest erin
He left the decision to me...
- He really didn't care one way or the other. Though with our first he didn't take me seriously when I said that he needed to help me practice relaxation, so he felt unprepared for labor. Let's just say he wised up the next time.