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Readers Respond: How do you deal with depression in pregnancy?

Responses: 18

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Updated September 12, 2010

From the article: Prenatal Depression
Depression in pregnancy is real. It happens and more frequently than many people believe. Did you experience depression in pregnancy? Who diagnosed it? What treatments did you use? Medication? Therapy? Did you experience postpartum depression too?

This is so bad

I'm think in 10-11 weeks having been to the doctor just don't care. I have a 15 year old and now about to have another so depressing. I'm trying my best to be happy I just can't and understand why I wasn't like this with my oldest. I think it has something to do with having to come out of nursing school. I feel as if I'm starting over from something I work so hard for. I to like others can't get out of bed for sometime days at a time just to eat. My biggest worry is the new born baby stage which I had hard time coping with the staying up all night, always needed a baby sitter to go anywhere alone. I was a lot younger so I handle it better but it's not something I'm looking forward to again. I feel bad for bring a child in world that's not yet wanted.
—Guest Shell

Depression with this baby

I am 37 years old and 8 weeks pregnant with my first child. This pregnancy was planned. However, shortly after finding out, all I have done is cry everyday. The father is over the moon, where I just wish I could turn back the hands of time. Suddenly, I have no interest in my boyfriend, at all. I wanted a future with him and now all I see is the next 18 years trapped with a man I don't love, a baby I yet to make a connection with. I feel my old life will be over, I will never be able to do all of the things I am used to doing... Simply watching a lifetime movie in peace and quiet! What was I thinking!!!!
—Guest Blake

Me too

I am 23 weeks pregnant and I feel that my life is over. I have not achieved anything I dreamed of and now I know that my baby will hold me back from it even more. I feel fat and ugly. I do know know how I am going to function after delivery. I am not excited about it at all. I just do not want to live this life.
—Guest Mya

Down in the Dumps

I've got 8 weeks before my baby is due and at the moment feeling really down. Cry a lot and feel a void in my chest and that there's a massive weight on my shoulders. A lot of stress at moment mum has cancer and having chemo, financial worries which I'm trying not to stress over, and stressful with my mother-in-law. It's difficult to get along with her there's a history with her where she's been hard to get along with and causing a lot of hurt and problems but my fiance wants to make the effort again as he feels sorry for her but I'm fed up with the little comments etc. I feel out of sorts and normally would make an effort to get out and about to see friends but at the moment because I feel alone I suppose a feeling inside than physically alone don't feel very sociable if that makes sense. Got all weepy because my eldest who's 3 has her last day of term today and I'd missed the note about Easter bonnet making and feel like I've let her down so burst into tears - how stupid!
—Guest S

I'm depressed

I'm feeling depressed as the parents & in-laws what to come & stay after the birth. They both live at other ends of the country & I would like time to bond with my baby and spend time with my husband as he works away but they want to visit asap. Am I bad to ask them to give me a few weeks before they descend on me as I don't think I would handle having them in the house while I'm trying to get into a routine. Please help as this is stressing me out.
—Guest L1971

Me too

I am 10 weeks pregnant with my first. I feel so awful I want to die right now. I feel so trapped and panicky. This preg was planned, but I feel so stupid. What was I thinking? I have so many doubts about my relationship, so many terrors about the future. Can't sleep. This really sucks.
—Guest Hildie

Bi-Polar

I'm 16 weeks gone and came off all my meds for bi-polar when I found out I was pregnant (on advice of my mental health practitioner) but since then I've had ALL the first trimester symptoms IN SPADES and they have not gone away since moving into my 2nd tri. I split up with my fiance a week ago and had to cancel our wedding which was due in 6 weeks. I literally don't have the energy to do ANYTHING and spend all day on the sofa. Even stepping foot outside makes me dry heave constantly and I am just so depressed at being so useless. My family are fantastically supportive, but I am really drowning. I've already made the decision not to breastfeed so as I can get back on my meds asap. But what do I do until then?!? Just sit here and wallow?
—Guest Emma

Uhh

I am eleven weeks pregnant and have never been so miserable in all my life. I have no time for my 2 sons or for my partner. I don't want any of them near me, and to be honest, the last few weeks i have found myself to be physically disgusted by my partner. All I wanna do is sleep and when I Can't I become even more irritable and find myself flying into major rages. I feel nothing for anybody, especially the baby. It is my first scan next week an I am hoping to be told that there is no baby there as I don't feel anything for it. . . Yet this is a planned pregnancy. Please help as things are just getting worse, never better.
—Guest misty blue

Pregnancy is a lonely process

I'm 29 weeks pregnant. I've been on modified bed rest since my 12th week due to a history of pre-term labour and miscarriage. From the beginning of this pregnancy until the 25th week, I was extremely paranoid I would go through a miscarriage again. Now, I'm feeling very isolated and lonely. I feel like I'm going through this all by myself and no one really understands how alone I feel. My sister said that I shouldn't feel this way because I'm growing a life. It's hard to explain how solitary this feels. It's hard when you're expected to be ecstatic and positive when I'm too worried of losing another baby.
—Guest Ali

One day at a time

I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my first and it was very planned. I've imagined every joy and sacrifice and was more than prepared. I was thrilled when I found out and for a few weeks after but when I saw the heart beat and it became SO real, I freaked. Very anxious and depressed. These are underlying issues with me but counseling several years ago helped me keep things in check. I have an AMAZING supportive husband and a dream life but still have this indescribable feeling of doom. I've learned to journal, taught myself some cognitive behavior therapy techniques, and know I should call a counselor if things get too bad. I've given myself permission to feel this way - society has painted an image of what a new mom is supposed to feel like. There is so much going on mental and physically with us now and it not going to be a dream for everyone. Although I hate to hear "it's just hormones" we also need to admit that they are real and wild now. One day at a time ladies...
—Guest Deann

Feeling so depressed.

I'm 3 months pregnant and I can't find the strength to get out of bed. I feel so sad, I lack self confidence. I feel like I've lost all my independence. My boyfriend thinks I'm lazy and with a bad attitude but I am really down with 0 strength. I want to be happy and enjoy this time.
—Guest Mommy in the blue

Not sure..

I feel typical things like being alone, never want to get out of bed, never feel happy for this baby, I try to see the positives, and know I wanted a baby, but it was not planned...I feel I screwed up, my boyfriend is stressed. My parents want us to be married and because we aren't doing so, there is this weird sarcastic tension between us....and a falseness when we visit. Its like their child is a disappointment, but they are slightly happy...who knows their real feelings. I'm older, pretty much non accomplished but working toward my future, going to college, in the army guard but injured. I cant do the things I used to, and ppl pretty much forget who I am. So I lay in bed everyday wondering when it will get better. I'm three months now...maybe when we get a place to ourselves it will be better...we live with his parents, they are ok. Ugh I just want to be a good mother, but I feel like everything is slipping out of grasp, like I can't stay on top of things, and sleeping makes the day go by.
—Guest Elizabeth

I don't know if I can do this

I am 23 weeks pregnant with my first child,a baby girl. My ex-fiance and I planned this pregnancy, but recently things got out of hand. He has a drinking problem which seems to get worse, and the fighting is never ending. We split up about a week ago, and it seems like he doesn't have a care in the world. I also found out that our company is closing, so I will be retrenched and just can't seem to find a job. I am so stressed out, and I know that I am depressed. The walls are closing down on me and I don't know what to do anymore. The only thing I have to look forward to is my baby girl. I am scared that this might effect her too much, so I am trying to just let it go, but it's not easy at all! I feel like I am already being a bad mother...
—Guest BS

Everyone tells you it's part of it.

It seems like whenever you become pregnant, everyone treats you differently. Like your handicapped or dying. All I want is to be treated like the same person that I was beforehand. It's like everyone forgets everything about you. You don't exist anymore. To them, the fact that you are growing a new life means that you are a new life yourself. This is my first pregnancy. My mother decided to kick me out of her life because she doesn't want to be called a grandma, which is fine with me because she has only recently come back into my life. My own grandmother has pretty much done away with me as well, because she doesn't want my mother to be mad at her. It's a big stupid drama circle that really bears me no Ill feelings anymore. What I want to know is why I was able to stop all medications for depression years ago around 16 or 17 years old, and gone a long time without needing treatment. I have been depressed through this entire pregnancy. I'm now in my 25th week and grow more miserable.
—Guest Kendra

Maybe I'm not such an awful person

My fiance and I had suffered a miscarriage a year ago and had been trying before and since. We recently moved to be out of town and BOOM we were finally pregnant. Terrible timing to say the least. I have a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship, and love her more than life. I have to say though since I got pregnant, something I wanted so bad but now can't even deal with, I don't care about myself, my daughter, my fiance and I care even less about this baby. The idea of having another child scares me to death and all I can think of is negative. I saw my baby on an ultra sound and didn't care, I don't care if it's a boy or a girl or what the kid's name will be. I feel nothing. I do have an appt. to start counseling again and will definitely be mentioning all of this to my Dr when that appt comes. I can't stand feeling like such a disgusting, poor excuse for a mother anymore. It's just too much to hate yourself for feelings you can't control. I miss ME!
—Guest Resa
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