Readers Respond: Have you thought of changing OBs?

It's pretty common to have thoughts of leaving your practitioner in pregnancy and switching to a different OB or midwife. In fact, may women will actually interview other practitioners or even make the move to a different practitioner. What are your thoughts on changing OBs in pregnancy? Share Your Experience

Switched at 28 weeks

I was very limited due to insurance so I wasn't accepted to a doc until week 18. I was expecting to have a c-section to just have it done and I was rarely informed about anything. I went to visit my sis who did an all natural birth and I was curious. I really wanted a water birth, and that was shot down by my doc so I switched and then when I finally got in there they said they wouldn't do it either. I was devastated so I gave it one last shot 28 weeks. I called a midwifery group. I was in love with the practice with just taking to the midwife! I am still seeing them they are full of info, help, natural birth now seems so easy and not scary because i have a wonderful midwife who takes the time to explain it. So, if you don't not like or feel comfortable around your doc switch asap. I wish the best of luck it was the best choice I will have made so far for my son, husband and I!!

—Guest jackie

Feelings for Doctor

I wrote my doctor a letter that I was going to switch after he delivered my 2nd baby. My hormones were going crazy and I thought I was creating feelings for him. I wanted him to know he did not do anything wrong in case he had to go over my file before the switch. Now I am kicking myself because I don't really want to switch. I wish I would have waited til my hormones calmed down before I did what I did. Would you go back to him or no? He probably thinks I am crazy. :-(

—Guest Guest Confused

Judgement

I found that the woman doctor I used was judgmental as to a prior abortion. My new doctor is a man and is very understanding and great during my first pregnancy. I doubt this has to do with gender, but rather personality.

—Guest G

New office can get your records from old

As a childbirth educator I have dealt with many moms who were thinking of switching. Often moms are worried about hurting the feelings of the old doc/midwife and don't want a confrontation. I tell them they only have to sign a release for their records at the new office and they will request the old records, there is no need for a confrontation. It is easier than mentioned in the article. If telling your old doc or the staff of your decision to switch is a stumbling block, don't worry, you can have the new staff do this for you.

—Guest Childbirth Educator

Switching doctors late in pregnancy

I am a grandmother and not having any more babies of my own. But one day several years ago I overheard a stranger telling to her friend about her OB and how much she did not like him. She said he did not listen or answer her questions. Even though I did not know this girl, I said, "Pardon me but I could not help overhearing your conversation. I have some advice for you. CHANGE DOCTORS." She was shocked because she was 8 months pregnant. But I said, "This is a once or twice in a lifetime experience. You deserve to have it be as much the way you want it as you can get. Don't hesitate. Don't be afraid, but don't wait. Change now." Many months later I was at a party and the same girl came up to me and said, "I want to thank you for changing my life!" She told me that she did change doctors at 8 months. The new doctor was wonderful and her birthing experience was just what she had hoped for. It is not often one has a chance to change someone's life for the better. I am grateful.

—Guest Bonnie B Matheson

Doctor preference

I really don't think gender has anything to do with bedside manner or a doctor's competence. People who are completely against a male doctor for personal reasons have every right to have a female doctor, but do not need to be so negative about male doctors in general. The generalization is discouraging. I have always had male doctors. I have personally never had a problem and have never had any issues with "discomfort" after having my children. My male OB/GYN is very competent and very compassionate. My sister went to a woman OB and switched to my OB after 1 appointment. My sister felt the woman OB was cold and didn't have any compassion. She was SO pleased after her first visit with my OB. To judge a doctor by gender or whether or not a woman doctor has children seems silly. People are who they are fundamentally. Having children doesn't automatically make them more compassionate. I say go with a doctor you "click" with, regardless of sex, children or otherwise.

—Guest baby4

Switching now

I am a Doula and support other women through their pregnancy and birth. Diagnosed with PCOS, I go to a doctor who is a specialist in fertility issues. I knew I was in trouble when he suggested I get pregnant after a big weight loss so I could have a tummy tuck. Also, I learned his c-section rate is 60% (he claims it is because of all of the fertility treatments and multiples in his practice). I can never talk to the doctor when I call and I always have to wait at least a week for an appointment - even if it is an emergent issue. The nurse today berated me for working long hours and said if I had miscarried it was my fault. Yet at my last appointment the doctor told me my risk factors were normal and I didn't need to change my activity level. The nurse told me there was no way they would see me today and it was up to me if I wanted to rest and try to save my baby or if I wanted to go to work and risk it. I made an appointment with a midwife for Monday.

—Guest Doulan1sttimemom

Had no choice, first time around

My employer changed insurance 3 weeks before my daughter was born so I had find someone quick. I asked around at work and found a practice that seemed great. The doctors assured me that they would follow the mother's wishes to the best of their ability (and what was best for baby). I wanted to attempt a natural birth and did not want to be induced. They assured me that they did not induce until 2 weeks past the due date. I kept telling my husband that every time I went in I met another woman scheduling an induction. Turns out they induced me at 10 days late (because it was around the new year holiday of all reasons!) and I ended up having a c-section after being in labor all day anyway! I changed doctors after my 12 week check up with that same group in my second pregnancy. I am much happier with the new group. I was nervous to change but am so glad I did!

—Guest Jennifer

Unsure

I really like my doctor but here in MS they are restricted to particular hospitals. I am not interested in delivering at the same hospital but do not want to change doctors. My husband is so not loyal to any particular hospital but definitely not the first one was born. I don't know what to do. I am 23 weeks.

—Guest momma2

Would have rather had women OBs

I had my children 30 plus years ago in an age when there was not choice as most all doctors were men. This made them arrogant and uncaring. It has probably made the men who are still in ob/gyn more caring that they have to compete with women for patients but I would still choose a women to deliver my child, if I could.

—Guest Charlotte

Go where they'll take you seriously.

When I was pregnant with my twin conceived through IVF after 5 years of trying, I wanted to make sure that everything went well so I asked my OB for cervix checks to check for incompetent cervix. He blew me off and made me feel stupid because we did not have a history of IC. We decided to find a new ob who agreed to check and, lo and behold, at 18 weeks I had dilated to 1 cm and had to have an emergency cerclage placed. If we had stuck with our original OB we would not have our sweet little angels.

—Guest Twin Mom

Men? No way.

Having a child is unlike anything else. If you haven't done it you have no idea what it is like no matter how educated you are. There's something to be said for life experience. The last child I had I figured that a little too late my ob/gyn had never had a baby. She had very detached way about childbirth it was just a job to her. Next time around I will not be too shy to ask my female doctor if she has experienced the joy of childbirth herself. If she hasn't a child before, there is no more way I'm sharing my delivery experience with her.

—Guest sarah west

Always a female ob/gyn

A man doesn't understand what a woman goes through. I need somebody who has experienced what I am going through. a woman is more caring. She can identify with my issues from more than a medical stand point.

—Guest Me

Never Looked Back

I am on pregnancy Medicaid, which severely limits the OB's who will see me in the small city I live in. The OB I started with was nice enough but his head nurse was a COLD FISH. The first 2 ultrasounds showed no heartbeat and she basically told me my pregnancy wasn't viable & handed me a specimen cup to take home for when the miscarriage started. Well, the very day I was going to schedule a D&C (because they had CONVINCED me that I was going to miscarry), I got one last ultrasound that showed my baby's heartbeat! (at 8 weeks) After all that emotional trauma, I had NO problem switching to the one other provider who would see me. It's turned out to be a blessing, and my care has been good, thorough and compassionate. I am now 20 weeks pregnant with my little girl, and am so glad I got away from the other OB & his negative nurse!

—Jenany1

Felt guilty about switching

I felt kind of uncomfortable switching because my original doctor had been referred by my sister-in-law. She thought highly of her, but when I started seeing her, we just didn't click. The doctor and I both happened to be pregnant right around the same time, which led to a partner of hers to take over her patients. He ended up delivering my baby. While I did not have great experience with male doctors in the past, I thought he was awesome. I was asked if we wanted to switch to him exclusively by the receptionist at a later appointment and I felt guilty about betraying the other doctor, so I said no. I just found out I was pregnant again. When it was time to make my first appointment, I did not hesistate to switch, and it was relatively painless. I'm so glad I did, though.

—wendiesioux