Our society tells us that the right answer is always that we don't care unless our baby is healthy, but sometimes that is simply not true. So how do you deal with the gender disappointment of the girl when you wanted a boy or vice versa? How did you cope?
2 and one on the way!
- I have two lovely boys, 5 and 3, and another one on the way! I'm so exited and happy, I never wanted a girl and am so glad I never will.
- —Guest Mimmi
- I have two, one girl and one boy. My first pregnancy I really wanted a girl and got one. As I have learned, however, there is a reason for the saying mommas boy. Boys love their mothers and raising a boy has been the GREATEST joy of my life! I think the only reason I wanted a girl is because thats a normal feeling for a first time parent to want the same sex as they are. But in hindsight I did not have a good relationship with my mother and though I love her dearly I realize raising girls is HARD and they are emotional and cruel to each other. Just my personal observation. If I ever got pregnant again I'd be devastated if it were a girl. Be grateful for boys!!!!
Keep your heart and Eyes open...
- When we get our hearts right we get the greatest blessings. Before I ever got pregnant I looked at babies alot. I decided I would be happy with anything other than a dark haired girl cuz I had seen a couple "ugly" ones. I had a dark haired girl. I loved her so much I didnt want any more. But I got pregnant. I didnt want to be, but I dont believe in abortion. So I fantasized about losing her during pregnancy. So I almost did. VERY close. I begged Gods forgiveness and asked for another chance. Then a 3rd dark haired little girl. Eventually I learned to not want any certain gender or look and learned to keep my "heart open." I cant describe the freedom that I got then! When I wanted a boy, looked at girl pics/names. YOU decide how to feel! You can prep urself to be excited about ANY baby! When I learned this after having 4 girls, I picked out the name Lillian Marie for my 5th. So excited. He came out with extras so we went with Joshua! LOL when my heart was right....
- I still get upset about my twin boys. I had always wanted twins, then ultra-excited for s boy and girl, so I could be done. But no, we waited till their birth to know the gender, just to hear "...and another boy!" Then my husband's sister had a girl, right when I resented these boys who needed my constant attention. Now I get to watch her and be jealous first that they have one kid which makes life easier, as well as see how much everyone spoils and dresses their girl. And I just KNOW if I try again it will be a boy...and I will not have a fourth boy. What we grieve for is the missed mother/daughter bonding experiences that could have been. I can't stand looking at little girl anything just like I couldn't stand seeing pregnant women when I was ttc for two years. I just wasn't as close to my mom as what I would have liked her to be. I think of the moments of shared adult friendship that will never be the same as any other relationship. Now my mom is dead, and I have just males.
- —Guest Melanie
Don't be sad, be glad
- You all sound like a bunch of selfish bitches. there are so many ppl out there that would be so happy to just have a baby, the girl or boy part don't matter. I think you all should grow up and feel blessed that you even got a baby because not everyone can have one.
- —Guest guest
Glad I'm not the only One
- I had my 20 wk u/a yesterday and found out we are having another boy. The first time I thought, "cool, someday my daughter will have a big bro". The second time I thought, "ok, we try again and someday my daughter will have 2 big bros". I have been crying nonstop since I found out this third one is a boy. What should be great news-seeing another healthy baby on the screen- has turned into my worst nightmare. I have lost all excitement about this pregnancy and am finding myself resenting my husband for giving me a third son. I've dreamed of having a girl since I still was one, probably to make up for the messed up relationship I had w/ my mom. To somehow set things right and heal that little girl still in me. I'm still young and I'm sure we could try one more time in a few years, but my luck I'd end up w 4 boys. 3 seems insane enough, thank you. I firmly believe in God and his plan, but am just having SUCH a hard time accepting this!!!!!!!!! And feeling so guilty, to boot.
- —Guest B#3 on the way
- Yes, some people have trouble conceiving to that lady who abused us who feel sad about the gender of their babies..but there are different forums and we don't need you in here making us feel worse! I found out today that I have my second boy on the way and I have wanted a daughter my whole life. I bought one single little dress and dared to hope and have been crying over it ever since. I feel so guilty and I adore my little boy and know I will adore the new guy.. I have just dreamed of sparkly shoes, princess dresses, ballet lessons, and one day looking for wedding dresses and having a pregnant daughter to pass down my wisdom to. I want to stop feeling sad but I just can't. & to all those people who say God is good.. I prayed out loud every single day for over four months for a daughter. I don't need the judgement of people in here saying we are horrible. Yes, the babies are healthy and I'm grateful but we have the right to want, and to be disappointed. We are here to support eachother
- —Guest Candice
Girl at 12 weeks boy at 20
- I'm another sad parent who had high hopes of a little princess. I love my 3 year old boy to bits however have had the whole autism developmental disorder scare. Was hoping a girl would ease that fear of a second an was told 75% girl at 12 weeks only to find out def boy at 20 weeks. I don't know of this is selfish but I feel soo sad. I will love it regardless but all my dreams and hopes of a girl are out the window it's so hard to cope :(
- —Guest Amily
- I found out last week ! Its a boy !! Couldnt be happier.
- —Guest Lili
Hoping for a boy
- My first on is a Boy he is 9. I lost a baby girl at 22 weeks 3 years ago. I cried when I found out I was having a girl that time because all my life I've only wanted boys. I am now 14 weeks pregnant and still hoping for another boy. It really ticks me off though because everyone at work and my whole family keeps saying " you better have a girl" or " I hope it's a girl" why does it have to be a girl? People always tell me that if I have a girl ill have one of each well I don't care I want boys !!!
- —Guest Cindy
I get it
- I totally get what the rest of these ladies are going through. I am in my first pregnancy with fraternal twins and yesterday, I found out they were two baby boys. We're not going to have any more kids. I had this idea in my head that I was going to have a girl so when I found out that dream wasn't going to come true, I lost it. I feel so guilty about it, but I feel like I'm going to miss out on so many things. I will love these babies unconditionally and like nothing I've ever experienced before. But I can't shake this feeling. I want to be excited...I just hope I can get there soon.
- —Guest MNF
boy vs girl
- Hi I am a mother of two boys, I was told my second was a girl. My husband and I did everything pink nothing was neutral. Our baby arrived and my husband said....Its a boy?!?. I was so happy that he was healthy but a part of me was heartbroken I felt I was carrying twins and one hadent survived delivery. I was blessed my boy was beautiful and he never had asked for any of this....so how could I be so sad?. My son is four years old now and everyday I am happier than ever that I was given another boy. He is so funny talented caring and everything I wanted a girl to be... We tell him he's a joker because he fooled the doctors into telling us the opposite sex, he laughs that he could fool the Dr. Long story short if you remember that a child is a gift you were lucky enough to have been blessed with you will always find enough love for them ....they need you even if you don't feel you need them. Boys & Girls both make the world go round not just one. You got what you were given for a reason.
- —Guest mysterious girl
Need a Girl, Got Two Boys
- I felt that my first pregnancy was a boy, but I wanted a girl secretly. When we found out, I was shocked, a little sad, but overall happy just to be having a baby. This time we tried to pull out all the stops! I did the gender ovulation guide, I looked on the Chinese Gender calendar (supposedly 98% correct), and a few other things that might be old wives tales. All signs pointed to a girl, even my pregnancy was so different from my first. I had a strong gut feeling it was a girl and even said "she" on accident often. I had everything planned out for a girl in my head, until yesterday. My husband said it's a boy before the tech got a clear shot and then there it was. She looked a few times just to make sure. I am almost 19 weeks, so it was pretty obvious. I was in shock. Later yesterday I was bawling and could not stop. I was grieving the loss of this imaginary girl I was so sure I had in there. All my fantasies will never come true because we are DONE having kids. I will love him thoug
- —Guest Loohoo
My baby girl after four boys
- I have 4 boys ages 8, 6, 4 and 3. I was told my 3rd son was a girl when I was 20 weeks pregnant and completey stunned when he was born. But I did keep all the baby girl clothes that I bought when I was pregnant with him. I always wanted 4 to 5 kids and hoped the next one " #4" would be a girl. Even when i accidently conceived baby #4...another boy. I was so sad and depressed that I cried for two days straight. I was very lucky to convince my husband to go for #5 and yes I finally got my girl. She is now 6 weeks old and her brothers love her so much and want to hold her and take care of her all the time. I feel very blessed. I would actually go for baby #6 boy or girl but my husband is done. I am lucky and grateful that he even agreed to baby #5 since he was sooo done after 4 kids. TIPS ON HOW TO CONCEIVE - I think is was the timing of the month for me. I tried to conceive as far away from ovulation as possible (shettles method).
- —Guest Love my big family
- Dear Mommies, Please don't feel bad about yourselves for whatever feelings you have. You are going through an emotional life-changing time and it is perfectly valid to have a wide range of feelings. Don't listen to or internalize any judgment from anyone.
- —Guest guest