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Readers Respond: Were you sad when you found out the sex of your baby?

Responses: 703

By , About.com Guide

hoping for a boy

I have two daughters one 4 and 2 year olds we find out Tuesday what we are having and we really are hoping for a boy .... if I have another it will be awesome but my heart really wants a boy but the only thing I really wish and hope the baby is healthy and that's it let's see.
—Guest abby

Sad and guilty

I am 26 yrs old and have a wonderful 7 year old son. After waiting so long to get pregnant, I had my heart set on a girl. I am 14 weeks and I just had my sono yesterday. They told me I'm having another boy. I felt sad but guilty because as long as the baby is okay nothing else should matter but it does. Others tell me the sono might have been too soon and it can easily get confused. We should be thankful for being able to have kids. I have a friend who has been trying to get pregnant for eight years and hasn't been able to, so I think we should just be grateful!!!!!!!!!!!!
—Guest A little sad but okay

Thank God for my Spouse!

I have had many complications and truthfully finding out the sex was the one thing that was getting me through all of it. After one person told us that is was a boy, we were so happy. Then in the ER during an emergency visit, we had it told to us that the doctor was wrong. My heart dropped. I had a girl already. I cried when we got home. I just didnt want to believe it. My fiance knew I was upset, and really put an effort to make this a happy moment. We changed the name from Luke to Lucia. And started talking pink. Then to find out that is what my 5 year old daughter wanted; A BABY SISTER!
—amandamcerickson

Guilty about feeling sad

I am the proud mother of a beautiful 7 year old daughter who I would never trade for anything in the world. I always wanted to have 2 children but never dreamed of having more for obvious financial reasons. So after 7 years of waiting for the right time, we finally started trying for baby # 2. My husband always talked about having a little Jr. in the house to take with him to his business where he sells and works on cars. I was so sure I would be able to get pregnant with the little boy he always wanted. But I've been in denial since the Dr. told us at 6 months that she thinks it's a girl because there are no boy parts visible. Now I'm 7.5 months and she says she is 90% sure it's a girl. I know I'm probably in denial, but I keep thinking what if she's wrong? I will love and adore another baby girl, but still feel I have failed because we are left longing for a baby boy.
—Guest Sandra

Boys rule

I'm very happy to be having a BOY!!! All children are blessings .... So Healthy is truly what I want !!!
—Guest ARod

Astounded!!!

I am astounded by the number of mums (and dads!) who have been disappointed when they have found out the gender of their unborn! I find some of the comments made here really quite amazing! I am 15 weeks pregnant with our second (first being a girl) and we will not be finding out the gender of this one....I can honestly say as long as the baby is healthy, has 10 fingers and toes and has all the parts in the right place!!...I don't care if 'IT' is a he or a she, I'll just be a proud mum of 2!!
—Guest Jim-bob

Hoping for a boy!

I am at 13 weeks and can't wait to find out what I'm having. I have a 4yr old girl and we are really close. She's my little princess which is why I'd prefer a boy this time around. I think it would be a different experience and it would make my husband the happiest man alive. I grew up with two sisters and I'd be okay with another girl but I'm still praying for a little boy.
—JBAEZ1980

Really?

I can not believe how many people are disappointed to find out that the sex of their child was not what they wanted. For goodness sake, be happy you can have a child. Reading these is very sad!
—Guest laura

Wanted Another Girl

I never knew I had a preference for a girl until I had my daughter. She is the absolute love of my life and I love everything about having a daughter. We are pregnant and I had a feeling it was a boy although I wanted another girl. We just found out it is a boy, and I am surprised by my reaction. I never thought I'd be one of those people who would care, but I cried when they told me the news and I am still down now, a day later. I am so sad that I will never have another daughter (we are older so this is our last child). My husband had a slight preference for another girl as well although now he says he's not disappointed and would have been happy either way. I'm sure I will love our son with all my heart, but there is something so special about daughters that it feels strange to say goodbye to my baby girl years...
—Guest Amanda

Longing for a boy

My husband had a girl prior to our marriage and after getting married, he and I frequently discussed our longing fo a little boy. To make matters worse, our daughter also longed for a boy. After our 20 week ultrasound, the techinician stated we were having a girl. It was so hard not to break down into tears and almost 4 weeks later I feel a continual void and then become angry at myself. My husband and I want to try for one more child, but I am torn at the cost of IVF and preimplantation genetic diagnosis. This appears to be the only guarantee to have a specific gender. Has anyone had any success with the Shettles or gender selection techniques? I am just curious as to how so many women so easily conceive boys and was wondering how they accomplish this-does it have anything to do with position, ovulaton cycle and alkaline vs. acidic environment? I long for a peace about this pregnancy, knowing that our next child will be a boy.
—Prayingforbaby2

3rd Time Mum

I have 2 boys 22 months apart, I am pregnant with my 3rd child, my youngest child is 10!!! I was told at my 20 week scan that I was having a girl, I didn't mind though as i love my boys!!! I'm just wondering if it is worth finding out the sex of my unborn child? I happen to think its a girl, but will quite happily enjoy another healthy baby boy
—Guest Naomi

Finally.....

I always wanted to have a little boy. No reason, just wanted one. My first, everyone kept telling me it's a boy! Look at how you're carrying and you have this symptom and that.... its a boy. 20 wk scan showed a definite girl. So, #2 again with the symptoms and the carrying style and it's a boy... again, scan says girl. Meet my now fiance, and he has a girl as well. We agreed that we would try for a) a boy or b) a max of 2 more kids. We found out at 16w5d that it's a boy! No baby #5 for us! So to answer, we just kept trying until we had a boy, lol!
—Guest Minni

My babies

I am a young single mum to a wonderful little boy who I love deeply. I am just over 13weeks with my 2nd baby. This pregnancy has been a difficult one and I have been really scared to do anything in case something goes wrong again. I am really hoping for a little girl this time, as I would like 1 of each. I was told in august that it would be near on impossible for me to have another baby, and at 19 that was hard to hear. I really do hope it’s a girl but if not I will be happy as long as it is healthy.
—Guest sascha

The guilt

I'm an only child and always wanted an older brother but never wanted to have a boy. We started with a dog. A girl dog. When I found out that my first was a boy a cried for the rest of the day in part because others had me about convinced it was a girl. I had my boy and loved him more than anything. The dog quickly became a second class citizen in our house. Then there was #2. I didn't found out till she was born that it was a girl and was thrilled. Things were great for quite a while until similar feelings I had towards the dog we no longer had started creep in only towards my son. I feel guilty every day of my life and like the worst mother ever for feeling that way at all. Now 10 weeks with #3 and praying for a girl again cause I can't feel this way towards another son. And what if I don't just because he would be the baby and definitely my last. That would would just make things worse. I often hear what a wonderful kid he is and he is I just wish I could lose the negative feelings.
—cozzi2

Hoping for a girl

I have two boys who are two years apart. I didn't find out their sex before they were born. Secretly I did think (maybe hope) they were girls during the pregnancy. In hindsight I think finding out at the birth that they were boys left me a little detached and I've slowly gotten used to a house of blue. Now pregnant and waiting to have my 20 week scan I'm desperate for a girl. Fingers crossed. Obviously I will love what I have, but this time I'll find out the sex so I have time on my own to process. I think the hardest to deal with is everyone else's judgment and comments. You just plaster on that happy face. I get particularly upset at those with "one of each". Yes, I know you've had the pleasure of a boy and a girl. We don't get to pick and choose what we have! I just wish people would be more aware of how upset it can make some of us. I understand it's just me being jealous but having the same conversation with so many people over 9 months is heartbreaking.
—Guest hoping

How did you cope?

Were you sad when you found out the sex of your baby?

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