Not Going to Plan
- I want to preface this post by saying that I am in love with my baby. I don't believe that anyone will accuse me of otherwise, but sometimes it feels as though because I am disappointed about my baby's sex that I may come off as ungrateful. It's just that I will only be 20 years old when I give birth, and being pregnant was not where I envisioned myself at this age. With all the stresses of working on my degree and being a young mother with an unexpected pregnancy, I had only wished for a girl; a sex I could relate to, one I understand. I guess I am just grieving because none of this is going to plan. Not only am I so very young and pregnant, but now I feel as though I have waded in to even more unfamiliar territory with a son. I know I will love my son, and that he will be my light... I just deeply desire for a little girl. And as I don't plan on children for the next 10 years (at least!) I'm not sure if I will ever get my chance to have a little girl
- —Guest Jessica
create a brother. .
- I am 24 and we have 4 girls and we love them as much as the Lord himself..A boy was never an issue..That was until I was cooking and overheard my 2 oldest which are 7 & 5 talking about their "brother" giving him a name a nickname and describing what he looked like..Down to his complexion :/ called my hub hysterically crying..and since then we decided to try for our son..now if we have our 5th girl then our final number 6 will be priceless..costing us $25,000 but he's so worth it.. :)
- —Guest sisters fantasy
not so well
- Im 19 weeks and found out yesturday that I am having my 4th boy. This is my sixth pregnancy and all I can think "is I wonder if my misscarriages were girls". My husband thinks that 4 is enough and is getting "fixed". Apart of me just wants to start over and try again right now. I find my self angry and depressed. I feel withdrawn from the rest of my family and don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to hear congrats, or them laugh in my face and say I told you so. I am mad at my husband because he doesn't understand. I can only think of the things that I am going to miss out on. I have a pretty good relationship with my mother and I just wanted to have on with my daughter. And now I am never going to have that. Today is my birthday I am 30 and I don't even want to celebrate that. So no I am not coping what do you do now?
- —Guest 4 boys
- My wife and I are expecting our first baby soon. We're both very excited that there's going to be an addition to the family. My wife wasn't concerned with knowing the sex of our baby before it was born, but I wanted to know if we were having a boy or a girl. My wife and I just found out we're having a girl, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm disappointed. I had dreams of raising a boy. I wanted so badly to raise a son and watch him grow in to a respectful young man. I also wanted a son to carry on the family name. I looked so forward to the type of father/son bonding I experienced growing up as a boy. Things like my dad teaching me how to ride a bicycle, how to throw a football, and how to swing a golf club. Of course those things can be done with a girl too, but it's just not the same from a father's perspective. I'll have to remain optimistic that when we eventually have our second child, it will be the son I've always hoped for.
- —Guest First Time Dad
- I have always pictured having a daughter. I have a pretty close relationship with my mom and grandmother and hope it will continue. My 1st son is my heart and soul I could not picture my life without him. I was a little disappointed he was a boy during the u/s and never would have guessed how close we would become. My 2nd son was adopted at 1 year old. He was a family members child that was too young to care for him. He is autistic and I love him so much but he's just starting to be close to me at age 4. I beat myself up about it for over a year thinking it was me but when the diagnosis came I knew it was the autism. We tried for 5 yrs for #3 and in a few hours in I will have my u/s. I won't be sad if the baby is a boy but I will feel a loss of not having a daughter in my life. I know I can love any gender more than I can imagine. But having a daughter would be perfect. I hope I don't get too disappointed if its a another boy. Fingers crossed.
- —Guest Mimi
More surprised than anything
- It's been a while since my youngest was born, but we were all very surprised. We had two boys already and really we were hoping for another. It was money more than anything, we lived in a two-bedroomed house and money was tight, and we never planned on a third child, so everything would've been easier if it had been a boy. Plus I was pretty young, and I felt like I'd figured out raising little boys. Also I grew up with three brothers, and my husband is one of six boys. The whole pregnancy we were all convinced it was a boy, had boys' names picked out and everything. So our daughter was a real surprise, totally unexpected. I had a hard time connecting with her for the first year or so, probably because in my mind she'd always been a boy. Things are fine now - she's seven - and I'm so glad I got to have a daughter as well as sons. I really envy those people who genuinely believed gender doesn't matter, but for us our expectations always played a huge role.
- —Guest Amy
- I feel bad even posting this. I always dreamed of a sister, but I grew up with wonderful brothers. Our first baby, our little girl is the light of our lives. I always wanted to give her a sister. My husband on the other hand, was dead set on a boy, he was absolutely convinced and told all his friends "We're definitely having a boy." Every single gender related old wives tale, craving, Chinese gender chart and even an IntelliGender home test all said BOY BOY BOY. Well, I just had my 20 week ultrasound and it's another little girl. My husband is moping, upset, I'd even say devastated. Of course now I feel like I somehow failed, and the joy has been taken out of what should have been a beautiful moment. The day I dreamed of for so long ended up just being horrible, and it's probably not going to get better. This is our last baby, he doesn't want to try for any more.
- —Guest Anon50
- I have 2 little girls, 6 and 4, but I've always wanted a boy. I'm pregnant with my 3rd child, which is a boy!!! I can't help but feel I'll like him more then I love my daughters, but I'm trying to love each of my children and soon to be children equally.
- —Guest sue
Faith till the end
- I have a 7 year old girl,and I'm expecting twins now. I was shocked to find out I'm having twins but ones it settled in I asked God to please please bless me with boys or either a boy and a girl.i did the fortune baby test it says I'm having a boy,but two ultrasounds say I'm having healthy baby girls. I'm extremely disappointed I even lost my appetite I'm still praying that they predicted at least one gender wrong....but I'm keeping the faith until I deliver I believe I have at least one boy inside me....even thou both drs are convinced it's girls.....I believe in miracles and know that on delivery one will be a boy and the other a girl. I'm testing my faith I will keep you all posted.
- —Guest HH
I wanted a girl
- I've secretly looked up this site & glad that something came up! (so I'm not the only one). I have a 3 yr old son who I adore with all my heart. This time wanted a girl. I always imagined having a daughter. Turns out it's a boy. Didn't cry during U/S but secretly cried after. Everyone says 2 boys will be great. I'm sure it will. Sounds weird but I'm not dissapointed it's a boy, just that it's not a girl. My husband only wants 2 kids. I don't want to try for 3 only to be dissapointed. Yes I want a healthy baby & sure I'll love this baby as much as my first. Thank u for the opportunity to 'voice' this secretly. Feel better writing it down & putting it out there. Part of the healing I guess. I get the gender thing & my boy who loves trucks loves my pink heels too! Which I don't care about. I guess it's more just for me. I wanted to buy the girls things etc etc. Good luck to all the parents out there & thanks for offering this site for us to share our feelings & know were not alone.
- —Guest Mumma
Keeping hope alive
- I have 5 boys, the oldest 13 and the youngest 11 month old. I'm 3 month preg now. I am so scared of having another boy, this will be my last chance. I always wanted to have baby girls. I cry everyday because I think I'm having another boy. I'm going crazy. Why me I said, but I still think god everyday for giving me healthy kids. I wish for a healthy kid no matter the gender but I'm keeping hope alive that my 6th child will be my little princess..
- —Guest Keep hope alive
- I feel guilty writing this but all my life I thought I'd have boys. I'm 16 weeks and the ultrasound showed another girl today : ( I feel like the first thing everyone has said from the start is "your hoping for a boy now right?" "your husband really wants a boy right?" Even the darn sonographer said BEFORE the ultrasound "so you have a girl, dad, you hoping for a boy?" Honestly what's most important is health. I just feel sad I'll never have a son! We only planned on having two and my luck if we tried we'd end up with three girls! Just wish society was better about this too. It's not as common for someone to give you a hard time about 2 boys instead of 2 girls. On the good side my hubby is happy about our girls. For me I just feel like somethings missing.
- —Guest Momma of girls
- My husband and I are pregnant with #3...we have 2 amazing boys of ages 6 and 4. We're hoping for our little girl to complete the clan but for some reason I feel like I'm pregnant with yet another little boy...we find out in 2 weeks but I can't bare to wait! Its killing me inside that I can't even sleep at night...I don't know how I would react if they said its another boy...I'm anxious, worried, n scared all together! :(
- —Guest cari
My wife is sad..
- My wife and I are expecting twins this June (2012). We experienced a miscarriage last year, and found out that it would have been a girl. We found out that the twins are fraternal, and were both so hoping that one would be a girl. We found out yesterday that the twins are both boys, and while I felt some disappointment, I am quickly adjusting to the fact that we are receiving the gift of two boys to grace the world and our lives in a few months. My wife is feeling a deep sadness, not so much for the fact that we are having boys, but more because she will not experience the joy of bringing up a little girl, a daughter. It's not easy seeing her this way, and I'm not sure what to say or do to make her feel better. I'll be 45 and she 42, so we don't feel like we'll be delving into trying again. I guess what I was really looking for in this forum was not advice on whether we could or should try again (or even adopt), but more on how to deal with the emotions and sadness of realizing you're
- —Guest Mark
Where is my little girl??
- With my first pregnancy my husband wanted to keep the sex of the child a surprise so we didn't find out. It was a horrible labour and when he was born and I saw he was a boy I was very dissapointed. I never imagined having boys! I hate sports, rough play, loudness, I like quiet activities like doing arts and crafts, hair, cooking.... With my second pregnancy we found out what we were having at 20 weeks. I was really hoping for a girl, and when I saw it was a boy I was sad for a second but then saw my husbands huge smile and I started to feel love for him. By the time he was born I was prepared and knew what to expect, so no dissapointment just joy in seeing what he looked like and enjoying getting to know him. I still feel sad thinking that my girl may never be. I don't think I have it in me to have a 3rd, and I would be so dissapointed to have another boy, i don't think I could handle it. Where is my little girl??? Maybe it will be a grand child??
- —Guest Molly