Greed?
- If you think a second child's life being celebrated is greedy, then I wonder why you received an invitation. Honestly, the old belief that only a first born is worthy of special notice and gifts is archaic. Maybe baby2 shouldn't have a birthday either. If you don't like giving gifts, you can offer you time. A mom of two needs a break more than monetary item. Print out tickets for cook a meal, rock baby while mom bathes, night out, etc.. An invitation is not an obligation! You friend or family probably just enjoys your company. If you don't know the person that well you can politely decline. I have rambled but all babies are a miracle. Mom2b and family are always excited. If in our happiness we send you an invite, just bring yourself and a smile.
- —Guest Yes
Aren't they just as special?
- I'm 6 months with my second, a baby boy, and I'm just as excited as I was with my daughter, who is now 7. We had a gender announcement party and some people brought gifts and some didn't. We provided food and an adorable cake (blue on the inside) and expected nothing but our friends and families joy at the prospect of a new life. My mil wants to have a baby shower, since this is our first boy and they're so far apart, and I think it would be worse manners to tell her no than to have the shower. But that's just me.
- —Guest Angieintn
Let's think about this for a second!
- Baby showers are a wonderful way for a women to celebrate becoming a new mother with friends and family. However, there is a registry and with that is an obligation for friends and family to attempt to buy the items the new parents will need for their first baby. If you have a 2nd baby soon after as I did, regardless of the sex of the baby, you will be able to reuse the large items. If baby #1 is still in the crib, cribs can be purchased cheep (try craig's list) or loaned from friends or family. The celebration for the 2nd baby should come after the baby has been born and for us was during the many visits to the hospital from our F&F and yes, they most often came bearing gifts for the baby. We had a girl and 14 months later had a boy. I would not expect my family to hold a traditional shower for a 2nd baby that came that quickly and this doesn't make my 2nd child any less special. They all came to see him and they most all brought him gifts and were just as excited for us!
- —smoore99
If someone wants to give the Shower....
- I definitely do NOT agree that a 2nd shower is "pure greed". I go to about 1 shower every month (squadron families) & can say that 99.999% of the time the honoree has little to no involvement in the decision to give or planning of their shower. They are literally told only to show up. I am, at this very moment, planning a ‘baby book’ shower for a lady who already had a shower while visiting home but we, as a sort of make-shift family, want to celebrate & support also. Saying no to a shower that friends & loved ones want to throw is rude, as is not throwing one for a friend or loved because it is their 2nd child. We are a military family & due to that fact, every single baby in our squadron gets a shower or celebration because we don’t get the hand me downs from family members or the big moment when the family gathers at the hospital to await the arrival of their new addition. Not everyone has the luxury of having family & friends around to help prepare for the baby. I know that, had i
- —Guest HaleyT
Only if it's been a long time
- The only reason to have a shower for a subsequent kid is if it's been long enough that all baby items have been disposed of. If it's only been a couple of years and you've already gotten rid of the crib, that's on you. If it's been 10 years, things have definitely changed and you've probably gotten rid of everything anyway. I don't have a problem with helping that kind of mom out. Kid stuff is way overpriced. I don't think gender difference is enough of a reason. My mom made sure to register for and buy only gender-neutral clothing for me (a girl) when I was born, in case her second child was a boy (it was). Babies don't mind wearing hand-me-downs and a plain onesie or red shirt will work on either gender. Let your friends buy you frilly dresses and baseball uniforms if they WANT, but don't register for them! P.S. All etiquette experts say stating "no gifts" is just as rude as saying "gifts expected!"--both of which I have seen on invitations!
- —Guest Sam
No shower
- Every baby is special, and rest assured those that care about you and are excited about baby will get you a gift regardless of whether there is a shower or not, but like it or not, having a shower for a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th child does make you look greedy. Even if you say "no gifts" you know darn well people will bring gifts, so yes--no matter how people try to justify it, throwing these showers does look greedy. I always get gifts for babies. Who doesn't love shopping for babies? But if it's a 2nd, 3rd or 4th baby, I give the gift to Mom in the hospital or when I first come over to see the new baby. I choose not to go to a pre-arranged gift giving party because I feel they are inappropriate. I'm only 24 so I do not believe this way of thinking is old fashioned, it's just logical.
- —Guest Melanie
Seriously?
- I am the youngest in my family of five kids and I had no idea there was no shower for me. No one got bronzed shoes and we all had baby books. I will admit, the books had less and less in them as Mom had more to handle. But really, to say this would affect a child's life is not right. The baby isn't even there yet. I just received an invite to a shower for my niece who is having her second child. The first is two years old. At the bottom of the invitation it tells me where the baby is registered. She got tons of stuff for the first shower (first grandchild), does not know the gender of the one on the way because she wants it to be a surprise. Love her to death, but it really is coming off as simple greed. Don't cry about the hundreds of dollars you have to spend on having a baby. There are also baby stores that sell gently used baby items. Sorry, enough is enough!
- —realkilly
NO!
- If you need a second shower to afford a second baby then you should not have a second child. all of you that want to celebrate send announcements. I personally hate having to go to baby and wedding showers. I bet most of you would have a second wedding shower. if you really just wanted to celebrate you would have a party and not tell people it was a baby shower until they got there
- —Guest no2ndshower
Shower Without Gifts
- I am having my second baby soon. Much of my family was unable to attend the shower for my first child due to adverse weather conditions and my sister has REALLY wanted to throw one. So I agreed. With a few conditions. 1) NO GIFTS. 2) I'M MAKING THE FOOD. I'm actually making it ahead of time and freezing it so it's minimal prep 3) THE PARTY IS AFTER THE BABY IS BORN We thought this way it's more of a "meet the baby welcome party" It also gives me a chance to get my house very clean once in that first month and invite over people who want to see the new baby but who would stress me out to have over when I'm not totally expecting them.
- —mello_e
Unsure...
- I am pregnant with my 2nd child and a friend asked me if I'd like a second shower, to which I said it would be fun, without really thinking. Now I'm worries my friends will think I'm being greedy so I'm thinking of telling people not to worry about gifts and that it's more a celebration of a 2nd baby on the way and if peole want to bring anything just stick to nappies and wipes!
- —Guest misshappy
2nd showers
- I am a firm believer in celebrating every baby. A baby shower isn't about gifts (although they are nice!). It's about celebrating the gift of life and a new baby! I'm having a sprinkle (not quite a shower) for my 2nd boy.
- —Guest Jen :)
No second showers!
- What is wrong with women? I don't even like the first showers. They are pure torture. I have more important things to do in life then to spend an afternoon acting like I really think that a pack of diapers is cute. Let the men go to the second ones. Why do we have to suffer? If is nothing but PURE GREED.
- —Guest NOSHOWERS
Am I wrong?
- I had my first child 10 years ago, and am now expecting my second with my new husband. My friend wants to throw me a shower and while I'm excited, I'm worried my family will think its a gift grab. I don't have any baby items from my first that are up to the new codes etc. I don't want people to think poorly of me for doing this, but my first child was when I was 17 and people weren't exactly accepting of it. I want to celebrate this time and people to be happy for us. Am I wrong to want a second shower? I could care less about gifts, I just want my husband to have the full experience as this is his first biological child.
- —Guest cardsgirl
Wow...
- I'd have to agree with having another baby shower after the 1st, no one makes you bring a gift, it's your choice. They don't turn you away at the door, seriously. My sister-in- law threw me a baby shower and I loved it! It was in Az and now I live in Wa with my husband's family and I haven't decided yet if I want one, if nothing else, we'll probably have a bbq with family and friends to celebrate our newest member due Dec 5th. I think every baby deserves a baby shower, hey it's not coming out of your pocket, and I highly doubt it says "Gifts required" on the invitation, even for the 6th or 7th. Like many posts, you don't have to go! But I want to tell my baby that he/she were celebrated just like his/her big sister.
- —Guest CFH
Second Child Showers
- I am a mother of 2 kiddos. My first is 14 and my second just turned 4. My first was a boy and my second was a girl. I didn't have a shower with the second, even though they were different sexes and 10 years apart. My reason? Because it's not good manners. I hear all of you that say "every baby should be celebrated" or "but this, or but that" In this day and age people feel it's ok to disregard the right thing to do. Nobody is saying the second baby isn't as special. Nobody is saying only the first matter. It's simple manners. If you don't believe me, go ask your grandmother! LOL Now, the reason I found this site is obviously because I just received an invitation for a second child shower. But the interesting thing is that the invitation is "a Royal Celebration" of the mother. Are you serious?? If this isn't greed, than I don't know what is. I just wanted to see if I was being contrary, but after reading some of these posts from repeat mommies, I was right in my feeling
- —Guest Madison
