It is perhaps because of such obstacles that women who do nurse successfully often talk about it as empowering. They gradually learn to speak up to authority figures, challenge protocols, and become less susceptible to the unsolicited advice and opinion of others. They express and exhibit a determination and fierceness that would not likely be seen in true breastfeeding cultures.
Building Self-Esteem and Confidence
Empowerment is a common theme for women who battle infertility or have difficult pregnancies. Laura, for example, had a history of endometriosis, laser surgery, infertility work-ups and delivered her first-born via C-section. She viewed the biological rhythms of being female as problems to overcome. Now a mother of four, this former rower, runner and martial arts practitioner, found breastfeeding to be the most empowering experience in her adult life. “It has given me faith in the strength and capability of my body and I discovered how strong and capable I truly am,” she reflects.
Studies of low income women reveal that nursing successfully helps them gain confidence and social validation Niesha, a former gang member who became pregnant at 17, reflects, “Breastfeeding has made me a better person. And the bond between me and my baby is so strong. Breastmilk is the only source of nutrition he knows and it’s coming from me! That makes me feel so good to know that I’m keeping my baby alive - not some cow’s milk or chemicals and I talk about that all the time.”
The self-esteem and confidence women acquire helps them gain new appreciation and respect for their bodies and breasts. In a culture that tries to disconnect and distance us from our bodies (we shave, deodorize, hide, change, and fix them) breastfeeding can help women feel better about themselves, carrying them from a place of self-loathing to a place of self-acceptance, even self-love.
“Being pregnant and breastfeeding has given me a totally different understanding of my body and how awesome and complete it is that my body could sustain a life, reflects Opal, a professor of literature and creative writing. “I’m not 95 pounds anymore, but after three kids, I’m enormously appreciative of it.”
Louise was so uncomfortable with her body that her husband had never seen her naked. All that changed with breastfeeding. “All the things I had to do to get nursing established helped me to start thinking that it was silly for me to be uptight,” she recalls. “I became less concerned about whether or not people see my flab or think I’m fat. Nursing has been liberating for me and has enhanced my relationship with my husband.”
A Chance to Heal
Breastfeeding also offers women the opportunity to heal from pain and loss. “Nursing opened me up in an intimate way I had never experienced before,” says Helen, who had been abused as a child. “I could be completely open and unguarded. It helped me heal from a lot of past childhood stuff.”
Even women who face the devastating experience of losing a baby may find their ability to lactate can offer some solace. Jacqueline, for example, pumped her milk and donated it to a local milk bank. It made her feel a tiny bit better to know that other babies would benefit from her having been pregnant.
Looking Ahead
Not all women, of course, find breastfeeding to be healing, empowering, or transformative. Indeed, aspects of it can be trying, tiring, and assault our prior sense of autonomy and independence. Yet for those who have to overcome cultural obstacles, early difficulties or who pumped their milk day-in and day-out to meet their child’s needs while keeping their job, it is nothing less than an accomplishment.
Despite its transformative potential, however, “breastfeeding can’t empower women until women are empowered to breastfeed,” asserts Rosemary Gordon, a La Leche League leader in New Zealand.”
“Changing the status of mothers by gaining real recognition for their work,” writes Ann Crittenden, in The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World is Still the least Valued, “is the great unfinished business of the woman’s movement.
Barbara L. Behrmann, Ph.D. is the author of The Breastfeeding Café: Mothers Share the Joys, Secrets & Challenges of Nursing, University of Michigan Press, 2005. She is available for talks, readings, and conducting birthing and breastfeeding writing circles. Visit her website at www.breastfeedingcafe.com.
