From Robin Elise Weiss, LCCE,
Your Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth.
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A baby shower is always a lot of fun. There are very few disputes about that. The problem comes in who gets a baby shower. One of the most controversial questions in polite society is about the appropriateness of a shower for a second baby (or more).

One camp is of the absolutely not variety. No matter what a baby shower is only for a first baby. These people tend to shun invitations to baby showers other than for a first child. Not only that but you may likely find that they are also only up for one time showers, not the showers of today where a one mother might have three, four or more showers for the same baby!

Another faction in the baby shower debate believes also in showers only for first borns. That is unless you fall into a special category. These categories tend to be situational like, first of an opposite gender, first with this husband, first in a long time… and the list goes on.

These exceptions don’t really prove the rule, but they do make for interesting guessing about who is “allowed” to have a baby shower when.

Many people have lightened up on the issue saying that every baby deserves a party. More and more moms are having showers for babies other than their first, even when they don’t fit any certain category. Though the showers they throw may not be typical at all.

Many of these showers have unique themes, including:

• Mom time: Every guest brings a gift for mom instead of baby.

• Books: Every guest brings a book for the library of the new baby.

• Casserole: Every guest brings something to be stored to eat when the new baby arrives, or a rain check on a meal.

• Blessingway: A circle of women gathering to wish the mother-to-be well in her journey through birth. Gifts are rarely exchanged, though guests may be asked to bring a candle, a bead or something small to make a gift for the mother at the ceremony.

There are those who oppose the showers in duplicate or for subsequent children because of the greed factor. This could be the key to the whole issue – greed. Is this why many babies are being denied parties, for fear that the celebration is all about greed?

While it’s always nice to have presents, the focus on baby showers is quickly becoming more about the life experience of having a baby. The gifts are those of time and thought than of cute baby booties to ooo and ahh over. In the end, the universal truth is that all babies deserve to be welcomed into the world with a celebration. Whether you call that celebration a baby shower, a blessingway, a welcoming or baby naming, it’s still a celebration of new life.