Here are some things I've been meaning to share with you about our upcoming birth:
It's not your birth.
You've had your children. It's my turn.
My choices are my own.
No one is forcing me to do anything. I've learned quite a bit and studied. I've taken childbirth classes and chosen a path that is my own. I'm happy to explain some of my choices to you, you might really find it fascinating.
It's a due date not an expiration date.
A due date is a guess not an appointment. Please avoid calling me multiple times a day to ask if I'm still around. I promise to keep our plans to let you know what's going on.
Dads are allowed in.
It's not going to scar my husband to see me giving birth. It's a decision we've made together and thankfully no one has to handcuff themselves anywhere.
Invitations are to be given not assumed.
I know all the other grandmas are going into labor rooms. If that's what we want I promise you'll be the first to know. If we decide against it, don't be offended.
Follow my lead.
I may not want a whole waiting room of people while I'm giving birth. Follow my lead on this one and come when I call and not sooner. I know you're anxious, but the most important thing is that I'm unhindered to give birth.
It's a doula.
A doula is someone to help me. The difference between you and her is that she can step back and be objective. She also has lots of training to support us in our decisions.
It might seem a bit strange...
But I've decided to have an epidural/homebirth/unmedicated birth. It took me a long time to come to this decision, and it wasn't made lightly. Please respect it.
Give me some time alone.
Once the baby is born it will take a bit of time to get me cleaned up and for me to greet my new baby. Don't take it personally if you're not in the room five seconds after the baby is born.
You're going to be an amazing grandma!
I can't believe you're going to be a grandma. But I'm also excited. There are so many things I need your help with and I can't wait to share my baby with you.
Your Daughter or Daughter-in-law