The scenario plays out, more often than you might think – one parent wants to know the sex of the baby before birth and the other one doesn’t want to know. This can be a huge problem and yet there are many ways to solve it. Here are some suggestions:
Buy yourselves more time.
Sometimes you both just need some time to continue your discussions about what to do and yet the date for your big ultrasound is coming up quickly. Rather than feel rushed into a decision, ask the ultrasound tech to seal the answer in an envelope and place it in your file. Not taking it home with you can help prevent someone from peaking or from giving in because it’s “right there.”
You can both get what you want.
It is possible to have one person know and the other not know. In fact, this can be a lot of fun. Though you have to set the rules up in advance. I’d also recommend not telling others. While one of you might be able to keep the secret, the same is not necessarily true for a mother-in-law or sister or friend…
One of you wins…
Which one wins really depends on issues at stake. Did you decide to find out because it was leaked to you by your medical care staff? Do you find out because mom always wins? (Or dad as the case may be…) Maybe one you finally decided that you were switching camps and joined the other party. No matter what the reason, be sure both sides have been listened to and that there are no hard feelings. Sometimes there are emotional issues that go each way, finding out and being surprised.
One of you wins…this time.
Another alternative that some suggested worked well for them was alternating. If you find out with this baby, you don’t find out with the next, etc. Now you only have to decide who gets to go first.
In the end the moments that you hear the words “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!” are special, whether they are at the moment of birth or earlier in the pregnancy. Try to make finding out a special time between the two of you.