Times When You Shouldn't Announce Your Pregnancy

Couple reading pregnancy stick
Paul Bradbury/OJO Images/Getty Images

It seems like all the advice about pregnancy announcements surrounds how to make that announcement and when you should share your news. The problem is, sometimes, it’s the wrong time to share your news.

When you tell someone you’re pregnant and it’s the wrong time, it’s nearly always going to be met with a reaction that you don’t like. To avoid reactions that hurt your feelings, consider these tips on when not to talk about your new pregnancy:

Someone Else’s Big Moment 

While it might be great to make your news known at a family gathering where everyone is present, it is key to ensuring that you aren’t stealing someone else’s thunder. So hold your tongue if someone else has just made a big announcement, like their engagement or their own pregnancy. The same holds true for making the announcement at someone’s wedding.

Funerals 

While spilling the beans about your baby might be comforting to some, it may also be distracting to others, so refrain from making the announcement of your pregnancy during official funeral proceedings.

When You’re Mad 

It can be so easy to send a quick jab with something like, “Well, I’m pregnant – so there!” But hold your tongue and avoid making these declarations. Not only will it decrease your sense of joy about making the news known, but also isn’t fair to the other party.

In Public 

When you talk about these matters in public, you stand the chance of losing vibrant reactions. You also stand the chance of having people say nothing. If you were hoping for a big reaction, this can have a dampening effect on what you’re looking for from the people you’re sharing with.

During a Job Interview 

While telling your boss that you are pregnant is always better coming from you, it is considered bad form to announce your pregnancy at a job interview. It is not legal to be asked if you are pregnant, and even if you are showing, it’s probably best not to tell. There will be plenty of time to tell them after you are hired.

To Your Kids Until You’re Ready to Tell the World 

While telling your children you are pregnant is a great thing, be sure that you time it well. Telling your children you are pregnant is as good as announcing it with an airplane pulled banner all over town. As soon as you tell your child, even if they are old enough to keep a secret, they will start telling everyone they meet. The younger they are, the truer this is...

When Near People With Sensitive Issues 

Telling everyone you’re pregnant in a group that includes your sister-in-law who just had a miscarriage or your best friend who has experienced years of infertility is bad form. You should give them the courtesy of telling them ahead of time so they can choose to excuse themselves or at least know what’s coming.

Before You’re Ready to Talk About It 

Once you announce your pregnancy, everyone will have questions for you. If you aren’t prepared or ready to talk about it, then don’t share. Sometimes you don’t share the news because you’re worried about miscarriage, sometimes it’s about the fact you’re just working through your own feelings. Whatever the reason you’re choosing to wait, be prepared for an onslaught of questions about the pregnancy once you do make an announcement.

When you are ready to share the good news, consider who you want to tell and when. You will also want to consider how to share the news. Many couples choose to do something creative for sharing the good news, either on a small scale for family or a larger scale for social outlets like Facebook and Twitter.

2 Sources
Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
  1. American Academy of Pediatrics. How to prepare your older children for a new baby.

  2. Bailey SL, Boivin J, Cheong YC, Kitson-reynolds E, Bailey C, Macklon N. Hope for the best …but expect the worst: a qualitative study to explore how women with recurrent miscarriage experience the early waiting period of a new pregnancy. BMJ Open. 2019;9(5):e029354.  doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2019-029354

By Robin Elise Weiss, PhD, MPH
Robin Elise Weiss, PhD, MPH is a professor, author, childbirth and postpartum educator, certified doula, and lactation counselor.