Grandparents
The first Sunday after Labor Day has been set aside as Grandparents Day since 1973. Since that Sunday is approaching I thought that we would take a look at some grandparenting issues this week.
I want to start by telling you the story of telling my mother she was about to become a grandmother.
My side of the story is something like this:
I found out, I decided to tell her in person, so I drove to her house. I remember the drive and exactly the intersection I was at when it suddenly hit me, "Oh my goodness, she'll know we've had sex!" I remember thinking someone should just mark it on my forehead and then I remembered my belly would soon tell the tale! She was actually happy about it.
However, that's when it all started. I watched her throughout my sister's pregnancy. She had advice that you wouldn't believe. My knowledge of pregnancy was still better than average based on my job, even though I was a first time mom-to-be. So, when she told me I needed to drink a gallon of whole milk every day, I knew better and had flashbacks to my sister's 100 lb weight gain probably due to such advice.
First she started with the small things like my diet and the water I drank. It suddenly ballooned to "Why natural childbirth? I had drugs and you are just fine!" Because I want to do it that way. "Why aren't you having an ultrasound every week like your sister?" Because I"m not having problems.
Everything became a major battle between us. It was not a lot of fun. I tired to listen to her advice and not let it affect me, but sometimes she hit me when my hormones were flying.
My husband and I were deciding who to have at the birth, we both decided to have her there, but put her in charge of the video camera.
It actually wound up being a good thing, and in the video, once the baby was born you can hear her whispering, "Yes, yes, yes!" She was so excited. My birth hadn't turned out the way I wanted it, and she never said I told you so about medications. She did give me a bit of grief about breast feeding.
However, the one moment that I will always remember, and that will always grant my mother an invitation to my births, is when she looked at me with tears in her eyes, holding her newly born first grand daughter and said, "Robin, I thought my miracles were over. I never thought I'd see another miracle like this, thank you."
So, no matter how much we disagree on parenting issues, we both agree that babies are miracles.
I also must confess that when Hilary was about six weeks old I went over to her house and apologized for everything I had ever done wrong as a child. I had a new respect for my mother.
She is very involved in the kids lives, and we all enjoy that. She stills asks me every time why I want to have a baby with medication, even though we've had home births with the last two. She still thinks breastfed babies need things they don't, but we get by and are happy.
