Two Very Different Births

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Two Very Different Births

CHELSEA'S BIRTH

When Mark and I first decided to try to have our first child, we both ate healthy and avoided all forms of drugs and alcohol. We wanted to conceive the healthiest baby possible. When we found out that I was pregnant, I avoided even tylenol. I believed my doctor would expect the same from his patients. So when he suggested sonograms, (even the one when I was only 3 weeks pregnant just to see if I truly was pregnant) I agreed. Late in my pregnancy when my blood pressure was rising, he said I needed to avoid all salt. I did this even though my body and mouth were craving salt. I followed my doctor's advice and not my own body's needs. My blood pressure never improved.

During this pregnancy, we read about pregnancy, labor, and newborns. But we never joined a childbirth class. The idea of Lamaze's altered breathing just did not seem right for me. We also thought that with the help of our doctor I could handle labor and be in control of our child's birth. Women give birth everyday. I believed that it couldn't be that bad. I was wrong. Babies are "delivered" and it can be a negative experience. OR it can be a joyous birthing experience.

At 2 a.m., we believed labor may be starting so we called our Doctor. Contractions were very mild, but we weren't sure of what to do next. He never asked how things felt. He just said go to the hospital. We were very excited and very scared, and so we ran in. We did not know any better. Before I even caught my breath they took my blood pressure. It was 160/100 - high but not yet dangerous. Then the chaos began. When everyone started running around me I got even more scared. And low and behold the contractions stopped. I wasn't even dilated. Chelsea wasn't ready. But they would not let me leave or move.

They started me on magnesium sulfate (MgSO4) to help my BP. When that didn't work they started pitocin, to get things moving again. Because of the MgSO4, I was forced to be bedridden, without even bathroom privileges. This drug was horrible, my face became flushed , by body swelled up, and I had such a headache that I was throwing up. I never felt any contractions, just the headache.

At about 8:30p.m., after 12 hours of this we agreed to a cesarean. My mother was grateful because she thought I would feel better soon. "Let's just end this." My husband was scared for us and excited that his baby would be here soon. I chose an epidural for the surgery. Mark was allowed in after I was all strapped down and so called anesthetized. None of the hospital staff prepared us for what was going to happen next.

I felt pain during the surgery and they just said, "You are alright. Everything is fine." Mark was unable to see the surgery because of the drapes. But he did see Chelsea just after her delivery and he was frightened. Really frightened. No one told him that she would be blue and for so long. Many minutes later a nurse asked, "do you want to see her?" I was then allowed to see our grey, sluggish, drugged, little baby who barely cried. I wasn't able to touch her because I was still strapped down by the wrists, but they did let me kiss her cheek as she was then taken away to the nursery. Finally 6 hours later, a nurse brought her in for me to hold and touch for about 5 minutes. Mark wasn't with me though because he was sent home.

In the early morning, I awoke to find myself in a storage room far away from even a hallway that people used. Mark arrived and Chelsea was then allowed to stay with us. BUT I was told that I could not breast-feed because of the MgSO4. They gave me a pump to use but no one showed me how. Now comes another scenario that has been very hard for me to handle. I was bedridden and forbidden to have ANY visitors except Mark, not even my mother. I cried to the doctor and the nurses to please let her in to see me, even for a minute or through a window. I needed my mother and she needed to see that her baby was OK. She begged them and they would not budge. We did not see each other until 38 hours after my surgery. If only I was stronger I would have crawled out of there. Because of them not letting me see any one, I was also unable to be there the first time Chelsea's grandparents and aunts held her. I missed that first moment Chelsea had with her new family.

We spent the next 5 days in the hospital. Those days were hard because it was her and I alone at night. Mark wasn't able to stay with us and there was no way I was going to let her stay in the nursery. Chelsea did take to the breast and we both enjoyed those moments. We bonded very well despite our first 24 hour problems.

SHEA'S BIRTH

Our second pregnancy and birth was a wonderful, experience. We knew that our first birth was not what birth should be like. We searched for medical personnel who believed that birth should be a positive experience and who also valued what we believed. We searched for a doctor who believed in natural childbirth, VBACs, low intervention and was Family Oriented. We found a midwife who worked in a birthing center and a hospital about an hour from our home. There were no complications during this pregnancy.

The midwife directed me to find a Bradley Method. childbirth educator. I was not going into labor unprepared this time. Bradley taught us a lot more than just how to give birth. With the instructor's help, we learned the value of family support, following our body's needs, raising healthy children and keeping ourselves healthy.

Labor started at 6 am, about the same time as my water broke. Since my water broke the midwife wanted to examine me for an infection. Around 2 pm, we headed over to the office. I was definitely in early labor because even with constant movement, my contractions did not stop. It was still early yet so our midwife asked us to go back home. On our way home we stopped at the top of a mountain to enjoy the view of the Hudson River. It was a wonderful peaceful moment. Then we stopped at a restaurant for dinner. At this point contractions were stronger but I still wanted to eat. Mark and I enjoyed this meal and we were lucky that we both took advantage of this time.

When we were back home I took a shower and started to make my "nest" (Bradley refers to this point in labor as the part where the mother needs physical comfort and needs to imitate sleep). During contractions, I needed to stop walking, relax and concentrate on my slow relaxed breathing that Bradley had taught me. Chelsea was there and she stayed with me. She was comfortable with seeing me in labor. We prepared her for the birth and the hard work that Mommy needed to do by talking with her and showing her videos. She knew that I needed peace and quiet during contractions. She held my hand.

At around 10:00pm, we decided that the trip may be too hard for me if we did not head out. So we went to the hospital. Actually, the hour long car ride was a joy. I listened to Bernie Siegel's guided imagery audio tape. I know I had some really hard contraction in the car but they didn't hurt.

When we arrived at 11:30, they told me I was only 3 centimeters and I held off having my blood pressure taken until I was calm. My midwife wished I waited a little longer to come in but I was glad not to be in the car in late first stage labor. Mark and I were lucky to get the labor room with the jaccuzi. I soon found out how great water is at relaxing the body during contractions.

The only intervention that I was required to participate in was the external fetal monitor for 20 minutes. In order to do this I had to be in bed. I found contractions that happened while I was lying down were the worst. I was not comfortable on my side.

I needed to be standing, squatting, or sitting in the jacuzzi to be comfortable and relaxed. Leaning on Mark during contractions gave me a great sense of security. I could feel his love and support during even the hardest contractions. Mark and I were not bothered by the hospital staff and even the midwife stayed back. Mark's mother was with us and she helped Mark meet his needs. What team work!

When I was around 8 centimeters, I was surprised to hear my midwife say that it looked like I could start pushing. She said the baby needed a little pressure to help it move into position. I found squatting to be the best position for pushing. I stood on the floor or I used the squatting bar that was put on the bed. The labor was hard. Sometimes it hurt more than anything I had ever experienced. Yet, I was doing it! I was in control. And I never thought about using any medication. There was one point when I started to lose my energy and I started to fall asleep. It was a long night and we momentarily forgot to drink. As soon as I drank orange juice, I was back in action.

Because I was unmedicated, I will never forget the exhilarating sensation I felt the moment our son Shea was born. It was incredible.. Shea was immediately placed on my belly and Mark cut the cord. Shea was alert and happy and he was able to breast-feed immediately. We were never so happy and proud, not only of our son but also of each other. Together were worked hard as a loving team. Shea was born at 10:50 am. He weighed 8 lbs. 9 oz.

I did not have an episiotomy, although I did need a few stitches later. The pediatrician examined Shea several hours later. We were both healthy. So 7 hours after the birth, we all went home. That evening we had his First Birthday Party. His great grandmother, all his grandparents, aunts and uncles were there. But most importantly, our older daughter was able to bond with her new brother immediately and that night she would not leave his side. Today they have a loving, non-jealous relationship.

I have become so enthusiastic with the way The Bradley Method. works that I am now close to being a certified Bradley teacher. I am currently teaching a class and hope to help many more couples have a positive birthing experience.

Kimberly Connelly

Guide since 1997

Robin Elise Weiss, LCCE
Pregnancy / Birth Guide

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