Twenty Two Weeks, One Day
June 21, 2000:
Twenty Two Weeks, Four Days
June 22, 2000:
Twenty Two Weeks, Five Days
June 18, 2000:
Twenty Two Weeks, One DayI laid in bed last night, alone (sort of) and away from home. The baby was kicking up a storm and it was so quiet and nice to realize how special this was. I suppose that's the feeling or connection I've been waiting to feel. It was really sweet.During the day today I was teaching a doula training and the baby kept kicking me in the cervix. And while it doesn't hurt to be kicked in the cervix, it is a rather odd feeling! It was all I could do to not jerk every time I was stabbed!There was a fire in the hotel last night. I actually slept through the alarm and woke up to the all clear announcement at 3:15 am. Talk about scary! Then this morning I had to walk down 18 flights of stairs. I not only had my exercise for the day but was exhausted prior to 9 o'clock in the morning! Let's pray for a much more relaxing evening tonight.Last night I was playing with the baby again. This time I laid a remote control horizontally under my belly button and watched the baby push it and kick at it. I told Kevin about it over the phone. He seemed a bit more excited than usual, so I asked him if it was becoming more real. He responded that it was, mainly because he was much less worried about miscarriage at this point.I confronted him about his positive feelings early on in the pregnancy. I asked how he was feeling negative and sounding positive and he explained it like this: "It's like buying a lottery ticket. I have to assume I'm going to win, and I get really excited and start spending the money in my head. When we find out you're pregnant I have the same type of feelings. Although I really know that neither is likely to come true. I need to feel positive about it anyway."Sad, huh? Although I'm glad he's feeling better and I have thoughts that are similar. Sometimes I just wish we could still be naive and enjoy all the wonderment of pregnancy without the cloud of fear...
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