Twenty Weeks
June 7, 2000:
Twenty Weeks, Four Days
June 3, 2000:
Twenty WeeksI made it! I'm officially half way through! Though Kevin was quick to remind me that I was still probably slightly less than half way with my tendency to go over due. Should I kiss him for understanding or get mad at him for not?In four weeks my baby will have some chance of survival. It's an odd way to go through pregnancy, but I have lost so many babies and I am nearly to the hurdle of my last loss (gestational age wise), my twin sons at almost 24 weeks. This is partially the reason behind us not telling people.Did I write down about the bloody sheets episode? If so, forgive me for repeating myself, but it really tells how we think, unfortunately. Kevin woke up one morning about a month ago and the sheets were covered in blood. He didn't want to wake me up but he went downstairs knowing/fearing the worst. He got the kids up and was getting them ready for school when Hilary asked what was on his face. He went to the bathroom and much to his relief he discovered that he had suffered a bloody nose in his sleep. He said that he had never been more grateful for a bloody nose than that morning.My mother came over today and planted sunflowers with the kids. She asked if the baby was moving a lot and it just felt so weird to actually be uttering words about the baby out loud. It's one thing to type my thoughts out on my computer and even the few times Kevin and I talk about it, but it was completely different to talk to her about it. It's just becoming so real now...Benjamin was able to feel the baby move today! He was so excited. He made up this really cute story about how the baby said, "Hey who is that out there pushing on me!" He's such a sweet big brother.My pelvis is about ready to be turned in for replacement. It's aching so much that it's nearly impossible to walk at some points. Kevin has been doing really well with helping around the house, so that's been a big blessing. And the bath tub is big enough to float a bit. I'm hanging in there!
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