- Well, it's been a very wild day. Kevin and I went in and were trying to be brave, but we ultimately felt fear and disappointment. I've tried to broach the subject of loss several times over the course of the week, to no avail.
- We get a new tech, different from the one before and she seemed pretty clue less. When I told her I'd been having pain from a corpus luteum cyst she asked if I was guessing, I said no the previous ultrasound. Duh!
- She put the abdominal transducer on and didn't see much. I went to empty my bladder and come back for the transvaginal. Nearly immediately we could see that our prayers were answered! There was a healthy fetus and a heart beat! Kevin was patting my arm and the tech was rambling on. The heart rate was 121. I mentioned that the bleed looked bigger. She scanned the bleed and as she tried to focus on it I realized that we weren't looking at a bleed, but another baby with a heart beat! Kevin and I saw it at the same time. "It's another heart beat," I screamed. "No it's not," the tech said. "It's a vessel on the edge of the bleed." Then she looked again, quickly measured the heart rate and it was 131. She's made a guttural noise and begrudgingly admitted we were right.
- The tech didn't measure the second baby very well or with the same care she had the first. The measurements provided discrepancy. One measured 7w6d and the other 6w4d. For this reason alone we were sent home with the diagnosis of threatened abortion and given a 50% chance of the pregnancy making it. At that point our attitude changed immediately. We were willing these babies to live. We were told to come back in 10 days.
- The shock is setting in and all my husband can do is talk about what kind of car we'll drive with six kids. I'm pouring over ever text book available about vanishing twin syndrome and getting angrier by the minute about the poor treatment by the tech, not to mention the bad machine. Then we came to find out the tech wasn't even certified.
- I talked to a doctor friend and she arranged an ultrasound for me with a good machine and a certified tech. It will be sometime tomorrow. I'm nervous.
May 10, 2002:
- I don't even know where to begin! In a few short minutes I feel so much better! This last ultrasound showed both babies had heart rates of 150 bpm and that they were within 2 days growth of each other (7w0d and 7w2d). They are a bit smaller than the first scan, but this one just felt more accurate and it seems like the tech really took her time to be accurate. The doctor gave me a 15% chance of the pregnancy being lost, saying that this is what you'd say to anyone, and that there weren't any specific reason to say that. I'm so thrilled!
May 13, 2002:
- My fear last week of not being sick enough to really be pregnant is a fantasy. I even threw up on myself on the way to work, though I managed not to get my clothes! I am so tired I take a 2-3 hour nap when I get home and I go to bed early. I just can't believe it. Kevin is being very supportive and helpful. He even cooks whatever I want. This includes bringing me cheese every morning before I get out of bed to try and avoid the vomiting.
- We return this week to the first doctor and for a repeat ultrasound. I'm interested to see if we get a different tech this time and how it all works out. This may be our last visit with these people.
- With date adjustments I guess this is really eight weeks...