12/03/97
Yesterday was a crazy day. Its one of those times I made a mountain out of a mole hill. It was completely innocent on my husbands part but it shows how differently the two of us are handling this little adventure.
I had a dentist appointment and being as its so close to Christmas my husband decided to go shopping while I was getting my teeth done. I want to get everything tip top before we get pregnant. I was in there for about an hour and a half. When I caught up with him in the restaurant he looked like the cat that swallowed the canary. He was smiling and had a twinkle in his eye. Now my Husband is more addicted to shopping than most women I know. So I thought hummmmmm he must have found me the perfect present. You know what assuming does it makes and ass of you and me.
Once out to the truck he reaches behind the seat and says maybe we can wait till we get home. Well that is a hour and a half drive and I'm starting to get really excited. So I wait my face was a little sore from the freezing anyway.
Once through the door at home he makes me wait by taking off his coat, petting the dog, letting the cat out. Finally he brings the bags in. Well I step back and smile. Until he pulls out all the items. They are all baby clothes for six months and up. He showing them off and I am completely confused. He states grandly these are for little Godfrey. This is his nephew they named after him. Notice I say his nephew I still can't identify with this child it hurts to much.
Well he's all happy saying he's spoiling this kid even if what his sister did was rotten. I can not believe it. I'm sure my mouth was hanging open. He didn't even notice and he gathered up the clothes and said these are great I have to take them and show Mom so I can send them out.
And like that he was gone. I didn't know what to do, cry, scream, laugh. Well I didn't do any of it. I just went upstairs and thought it isn't his fault. Maybe he's dealing with this a different way. He loves babies. I've always know that. He is obviously moving on......
Maybe I should too....
I called the clinic today we can't get into our doctor until the 29th of December. We could have seen someone else but after the last rotation doctor I saw I'm not up to it.
So I have decided I am going to have a great Christmas if it kills me. We are having a dinner party for my birthday then going to a boxing day dance. I am going to have FUN.
I love my husband so much, maybe that is why I didn't say anything about the clothes. It would completely destroy him if he knew his innocent actions hurt me. I think I have played the martyr long enough.
So I invite everyone to have a Merry Christmas. Its doable. I promise. Give thanks for all you have. And I guarantee next Christmas we will all have little one to spoil.
