Public Response to Pregnancy

When you decide to share the good news of your pregnancy you may have many different feelings welling up inside you. You might be bursting with excitement. Perhaps you feel nervous about the pregnancy. I can even remember feeling embarrassed about announcing my first pregnancy to my family because they would know what I had been doing! However, most of us assume we'll get a pleasant response to our news. This isn't always the case.

Perhaps it's that not everyone thinks before they speak, but many people report negative reactions to even the most wanted and planned pregnancy.

"'Better you than me!' was my mother-in-law's first response," reports one mom after she told about her first pregnancy.

Sometimes the comments stem from the recipient's beliefs about raising children and having a family.

"We simply don't tell for a long time. Because we have more than two children, people think that they have a right to comment on our family's size," says a mother of three. "Until they foot the bill they should keep their mouth shut."

No matter why people make comments about your pregnancy you need to know how to respond. Sometimes it helps to have it thought out, in advance, what your response might be to these types of comments.

One newly expectant mom says, "I was flabbergasted! My mouth hung open. I couldn't believe that something that was so wonderful to my husband and I actually offended someone else. I wish I would have known what to say."

Zippy responses might not roll of your tongue or be your preferred way to deal with negative comments. Simply walking away is another way to respond. If it's a close friend or relative this can be harder, not only because of the close relationship but also because of the hurt feelings that can go along with the responses. In these cases you may want to delve a bit further to find out if their comments stem from a worry that they have.

"I knew my sister was worried that I'd have a horrible experience like she did," says one mother-to-be. "I waited a bit and talked to her later and she really apologized, saying she knew she hurt my feelings. We were able to move on and really enjoyed sharing my pregnancy."

Others blame ignorance and unsympathetic people, as does one dad. "My reasons for having a child have nothing to do with anyone but my wife and I. My colleagues can figure out what they will do if I miss a day of work to attend my child's birth."

No matter what others say, know that your pregnancy is special and their comments can't touch the joys of birthing and raising a child.