Week Six
February 27, 1997:
A heartbeat! It was a beautiful sight! Kevin has never seen a live baby on ultrasound! The only thing that worries me is that the heart rate was only 99 beats per minutes (bpm). That's a bit slow, but Kathy, the tech, told me not to worry about it! She knows me too well!
March 1, 1997:
Kevin has been in seventh heaven. He has actually been very loving towards me, something I have really missed with all of the problems we've had. Although, I suppose I had a lot more support than he ever did. It's still nice to think that we may have a baby!
Week Seven
March 4, 1997:
Our second ultrasound to confirm the heart rates, and it was up, but not much, about 120 bpm. Kathy again told me to trash all of my OB and midwifery books! The baby had grown in the past 5 days, from .5 cm to .8cm! Pretty impressive isn't it? My next appointment is in a week and a half, let's pray for a peaceful time!
Week Eight
March 11, 1997:
I've been having some brown spotting for the past 2 days. And today it was black! I panicked and freaked out. I called the doctor, but all they could say was to put my feet up and call if I gushed red blood! I am frustrated, we aren't going to have a baby! I am very discouraged.
March 12, 1997:
Tonight I tried to get Kevin to help me plan what will happen tomorrow when we go to the doctor's office. Should we opt for surgery when they tell us that our baby has died or go home and wait. He really blew up at me. We haven't really talked since yesterday, we are both too afraid. In about 18 hours we will know if our baby is alive. I'm not sure I can make it!
March 13, 1997:
What a day! Kevin and I ignored each other, he made me leave the computer lab because he was restless. So we drove around. We ate lunch, without looking at each other or really talking. Then we still had an hour to kill before the appointment. He suggested that we drive to the park, so we did. We parked and watched them building a new playground. He rambled on about going to camp as a child. The whole while I am getting frustrated. I just started the car and drove to the doctor's.
Kathy saw us, and asked if we would be seeing her today. I asked her if I had ever made it out of the office without seeing her, she said no. Once in to see the doctor for our OB physical, we started talking about the symptoms I'd been having and he seemed to agree with me in that it was over. He didn't say it but I felt it because he didn't do the exam, just said, "Let's do the ultrasound first."
Back in Kathy's office she laughed at us. As much as I like her she's way too positive for my blood at times. (Sorry Kathy, if you read this!) She put the transducer on and the baby was still alive! Not only that but the heart rate was up to 170 bpm! I think Kevin and I both could have cried! She was pretty excited for us. She didn't see any evidence of bleeding. I asked her about the shape of the sac, because the sac will start looking "irregular" before a miscarriage, and she showed us how her pressing abdominally was warping the sac.
Kevin bought me a Frosty® on the way home. We were pretty quiet, but very happy. I couldn't even drive! We both looked at each other for the first time in a few days and realized how much we had really needed each other. It's nice not to be alone.
Week Nine
March 17, 1997:
Life has been pretty laid back, except for the nausea that I experience all day, everyday! Kevin and I have actually started to talk about pregnancy as lasting longer than a few weeks. We even ventured to have sex. That was pretty funny. He kept picturing how Kathy could squash the sac with the transducer and was thinking that he was doing the same thing. Maybe later in pregnancy his fears won't cause as much trauma to him! The baby is fine!
