Week Four
February 11, 1997:
Well, after all we've been through I am actually pregnant. It really isn't a big surprise, considering we've wanted to be pregnant and haven't prevented it, but with our losses, it's difficult to even care sometimes. It might be a nice surprise to tell Kevin for Valentine's Day. I had better think about that one.
February 12, 1997:
I decided to tell Kevin tonight anyway. And boy, am I glad that I did. His reaction wasn't very pleasant. I know he's really worried but he doesn't have to get angry. We are in this together. I had purchased a cute book of newborn pictures to give him. I suppose that will have to wait until Father's Day, assuming I'm still pregnant.
Now I have to decide how quickly I run to the doctor's office. With my history of ectopics, it's fairly important to make sure the pregnancy isn't ectopic, but the week after week of being seen until something shows up on ultrasound is really disappointing, and nerve wrecking. I am leaning towards waiting until 6 or 7 weeks to go in. My calculation for due date is October 21, 1997.
February 14, 1997:
I made the doctor's appointment for March 5, 1997. I will be a bit over 7 weeks. I am very comfortable with this, even if the secretary wasn't. : ) I am educated enough, and aware of my body to know when I am having the signs of an ectopic pregnancy.
So far so good in the spotting department. No spotting! I am even a tad nauseated and my breasts are killing me! I am sleeping a bit more, but wake up early and have trouble falling asleep. It's really the headaches that bother me, you gotta love that estrogen!
Week Five
February 18, 1997:
A bit of discolored mucous, and some one sided pain sends me rushing to the ER. Unfortunately, they didn't believe it to be a big deal and after 4 and a half hours had only drawn blood. It was early in the morning and I had to be at a scheduled cesarean at 6:30 am in a distant city, so I signed out AMA. My pain had abated, and the spotting stopped. Although, I did find out my hCG levels were 1404. Kevin told me that he had given up on the pregnancy tonight. Have I?
February 19, 1997:
Everything looking good today, and I still feel like crap! These are all good signs!
February 22, 1997:
I'm hanging in there, taking heart in the fact that I really don't feel well. Kevin is really being great now. I guess he was just really worried about me. Sometimes I forget to think about that. No more spotting, and I'm trying to take it easy, eat well, take my vitamins, and count the days until April when my chance of
miscarriage drops. How am I ever going to live that long? Can't I go to sleep and wake up in the second trimester?
February 23, 1997:
I came home from teaching Religious School and I had a bit of pink mucous. It happened on other time during the day and hasn't been back. I went to bed, took a nap, gave up on the pregnancy, planned for the pregnancy and generally went nuts. I still feel pregnant and I have to hold on to that. I think wants to throw away all of my pregnancy books! I am always scouring them.
February 24, 1997:
No spotting, so I got out of bed and worked on my computer for a bit. My breasts are still very tender, so that's good. I called the doctor and talked to his nurse (also his wife). We had a nice long chat and talked on a profession/personal level. I told her I had appreciated what she had done for me during the last miscarriage. I asked her my question about sleeping through the first trimester. She laughed and said she had finally heard a dumb question! : ) I like her.
I explained that I knew, as a professional, how hard it was to work with people who had loses. She appreciated that understanding. She let me change my appointment to this Thursday, I'll be 6 weeks and some change, hopefully everything will look good. I really hope it is, I hate this not knowing.
