Emily got here and I was sitting on my birth ball leaning over a stack of pillows on my bed, swaying back and forth while Kevin rubbed my back. He had put on the music we had done our relaxation by, and it was very comfortable, even though the contractions were difficult. They didn't seem to be lasting very long. This made me concerned that they would either stop or continue for a long time.
After a bit more time had passed I tried the bath again. It had felt so good to me earlier, and in my last labor had been a great source of pain relief. Kevin went with me pouring water over my belly since it stuck out of the water. However, this time it didn't help much at all.
Kevin helped me out of the tub and I went back to my room and laid down on my side. He changed the CD to some classical music. Then he got the kids from the bus stop. Emily asked me if I had accepted that I was in labor, she had sensed before that I was leery of this being the real thing. I told her yes. The kids came and went without me noticing them, and Kevin was back. Time was not quite registering, despite the fact that I was staring at a clock.
At some point Emily told Mary Ann to come anyway.
Hands and knees positions felt much better to me and Emily and Kevin took turns doing the pressure. Kevin actually did a better job at it, probably because of all the practicing he got in during pregnancy. This made him feel great. After awhile I was no longer aware of anyone but Kevin anyway. He was telling me I was doing a good job, and rubbing my hair and my arms. He was very soothing to me. He wouldn't have been able to do that without Emily's support with the other things, however.
The contractions were really painful but still seemed very short to me. I would whisper to myself, "60 seconds, 60 seconds..." during a contraction to remind myself that I could do anything for 60 seconds. At that first sign of self doubt, a light went on inside my head, "TRANSITION!"
I quickly talked myself out of that thought because I hadn't been in labor that long and I had these incredibly long labors. I started to panic. What was I going to do for the next 30 or so hours? I had had a natural birth before, what was I doing wrong now, why was this so hard and so different? Looking back, I really think that this made my contractions hurt more, and I was really fighting myself.
Suddenly I became very agitated. Mary Ann was there and had listened to the baby again, declaring the baby to be great. The music was really on my nerves, and I said to Kevin,"Enough with the damned violins already!" He changed the CDs again. Mary Ann said, "I can check you if you want me to."
This was really the turning point for me. I agreed to be checked. I figured that if I was still just a few centimeters dilated I would have to do something different, including the possibility of going to the hospital for drugs. I knew that Mary Ann and Emily would encourage me any way they knew how, and that Kevin would need help too.
I sat back on the floor for her to check me. She waited until I told her okay. Kevin held me as I leaned against him. She checked me and it was dark in the room so I couldn't see her face. When I'm at a birth as a doula, I always watch the face as they check the woman, it gives a better indication of how well she's doing in their opinion. "Oh Robin, you're a good eight! It won't be much longer!"
All of a sudden I felt a huge weight being lifted from me. I looked at the clock: 7:33 P.M. "Kevin, you'd better call everyone, I guess this is it!"
Back to hands and knees, it still felt the best, but now my heart was into it and I could accept comfort from those around me. I started moaning and it felt so good. I could hear Mary Ann and Emily tell me that was perfect and that it wouldn't be long now. How many times have I uttered those words to other women? It was a very different experience being on this end of birth.
