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Robin Elise Weiss, LCCE

Miscarriage: It Just Sucks

By December 17, 2012

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Having a miscarriage or other pregnancy loss is hard on anyone. I know that when we had our pregnancy losses, my husband was just as devastated as I was, only he lacked the support that I had. Ryan tells of his experience as a father after a miscarriage:

Sad Couple Comforting Each Other

"My wife and I had two miscarriages. I don't deal with the hormonal and physical issues, but the baby was real in my heart and dreams. My wife heard all of the terrible things that people say. The most helpful comment came from my friend who had also dealt with a miscarriage. I told him about it, and he said , 'There's nothing to say except it sucks.' My wife and I have used the 'it sucks' comment a lot since then. There's really no explanation--it just sucks."

What was your experience as a father after miscarriage? Or how did your partner respond after you had a miscarriage?


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Photo Barbara Penoyar/Getty Images

December 18, 2012 at 10:01 pm
(1) Amanda Frank says:

My heart goes out anyone who has lost a child in any capacity. My best friend and my sister-in-law each have miscarried multiple times and my heart breaks for them because all they’ve ever wanted was to have a baby and be mothers. Each time it happened, I always fought to find the words to comfort them, until one of my friends told me about a book to get them. It’s called “There Was Supposed To Be a Baby” by Catherine Keating, you can check her and the book on the website http://therewassupposedtobe.com/. I’ve given this book to each of them as a gift and both have said what a wonderful book and comfort it was to them. Thank you for this post, and may anyone who’s lost find peace!

December 24, 2012 at 11:11 pm
(2) angie williams says:

I was 35 weeks pregnant when we were told that our daughter had died. I delivered her four days later stillborn. It took many months for my husband to talk about our loss like I could.

I kept writing letters to her (www.letterstoleia.ca) and we went to a grief group. Although it was very hard on both of us, it brought us closer.

I can see why men don’t get the support woman do. they can’t talk about it like we can, but it is very important for them to get support. Especially for the sake of the marriage.

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