Mothers Can Be Mean
Part of the answer to Warner's question of why is that we set ourselves up for it early on. In pregnancy and birth we hear a lot of these types of tales. They manifest themselves in being upset by people's choices being different than our own, as if the mere fact that I've chosen something other than what you have chosen makes you think I am judging you. So if I'm planning on having an epidural and you aren't, I may feel like you are judging me - and you haven't even opened your mouth.
Warner goes on to say "I suspect that highly successful working mothers suffer a disproportionate amount of scorn when they fail to have the time or available space on their mental hard drives to do things like memorize school handbooks or master Bundt baking." That struck me a bit, because my own personal lens would say that large families get the brunt of it. Then it occurred to me that every group will have a reason why they are targeted more frequently.
As a stay-at-home mom I could say, "But I'm picked on because I'm supposed to have time to read the handbook, but still don't get around to it because I'm busy with my family." The mother with a large family might add, " But I did read the handbook... oh wait, that was a different handbook." The work-at-home mother claims, "I read the handbook and gave a presentation on it over the phone when I was supposed to give my client a look at his portfolio!"
Let's face it, we all do a lot of work. Work is simply the definition of mother. While I don't have a solution, I'd like to say that we should start by not picking or judging other mothers for their choices, their actions or anything else. Perhaps if other people see that the mothers have banded together to be accepting of one another, they will back off and leave us alone.
What are your thoughts on mothers being mean to one another?
My take is it is human nature to judge and compare but how we preceive being judged or compared is what makes us feel positive or negative about it. I just accept it as a fact of life and know if I am comfortable with my decisions it really doesn’t matter what others think.