Managing Miscarriage
Saturday April 11, 2009
In April I always remember one of my miscarried babies. Having a miscarriage was one of the hardest things my husband and I ever did. It's always hard to know what is the right thing to say or do when someone you know or love has had a miscarriage. Interestingly enough I was reading a new study on the way we manage miscarriage. Is it better to do surgery right away, or is it okay to wait and see what happens?
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Photo (c) A.D.A.M.
Comments
I had a D&C for a missed miscarriage last Friday, April 11 2008. I understand her pain. This was my first pregnancy and I am terrified to try again. I have lost all confidence in my ability to carry a normal healthy child full term. I have no idea how to recover from this heartbreak. I hope over time, I will be able to emotionally heal so that the next time I get pregnant, I can have at least a shred of excitement.
I have had 1 normal pregnancy, then 4 miscarriages in a 12 month period followed by much “falling thru the cracks” despite being a physician, and am currently 4 mos preg and refusing to trust that there could be a good outcome. I didn’t tell many people about the pregnancies or miscarriages, until now. And there are no good answers. I’d tell someone you are sorry to learn about their loss, hug them, and check in here and there but not obtrusively. If they break into tears unexpectedly, give them a minute or two to compose themselves, and continue by following their lead. As to D+C or not: the decision is personal. THe good thing about having one is that you control WHEN you bleed, as opposed to having to wait. However sometimes it is just another violation when one already/still feels vulnerable. It is okay to not make that decision IMMEDIATELY. Go home. Think a bit. Consider your time and potential inconvenience (for instance I was working in a busy busy ER during my last and worst miscarriage, 6 hours from home, and no one to take over for me…that was terrible). IT is scary to get pregnant again. IMPORTANT: if you are in your 30s, do not wait for the standard 2-3 miscarriages. Go see a reproductive endocrinologist and a GOOD ObGyn and possibly geneticist. WHile miscarriages are common, the older one is, the shorter the time to have another pregnancy (eg I am 39). Good luck and know that I have met many people who have had wonderful results after not so good luck. Even if you feel broken, if you choose to, you can try again. HAve some good physicians at your back first though! Good luck. And throw a few prayers my way too please. I’m still scared.