Missing Pregnancy

I was walking down the hall at work today and I noticed a familiar waddle. It was the obvious waddle of a woman about to give birth. You could see her swollen feet and what was left of her ankles as they protruded from her slip on shoes. And I found myself envious...

What you may wonder is so enviable about this position? Having been there five times you'd think I'd know better by now. You would think I would remember what it feels like to walk on balloons that had taken over and called themselves my feet. You would think I would remember how it felt to have so much relaxin that my pelvis was more like gelatin than bone. And you would probably assume that I was not envious.

What I miss about pregnancy are not the aches and pains, for those are actually very easily forgotten. I miss the feeling of abundant life and radiance. I miss feeling the baby moving inside when no one else knew, the feeling of having a secret that I shared with no one but my baby. I simply miss the miracle...